That Ever Illusive Utopia
by Elf
Summary: She was a king who gave everything to serve her people, he was a man who desperately wanted to save everyone.  They thought they had failed both in life and in death, but together they may find that they had succeeded far better than they thought.
1. Prologue: Folly of the Third

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Prologue**

_**Folly of the Third**_

Saber was glad.

The urge to close her eyes was strong, but she kept them open, staring at the boy before her. His golden brown eyes were starting to become dull and blank, the toll of the unnatural graft of his new left arm all too evident. Bits of shining steel were starting to break through thousands of places through his skin. He would break at the end of all of this, but before then he would emerge victorious.

He would save the day, be the hero he so craved to be.

Sakura and Rin would be safe at the cost of his life, this she was sure of.

Then again she knew what sort of fool her former Master had been that first night.

_So, it is not a bad thing to die by his hand._

Saber watched as his glaze cleared as he looked down at her and his arms trembled, even his alien left arm. His chest rose and fell deeply with each breath as the dagger was suspended before her. Already she could feel the wounds mending, he wouldn't have long before she could stand again and strike him with her cursed blade. He had chosen this path and everything it entailed.

The blade came slamming down, and Saber finally found peace.

They were both dead mad men engaging in a useless folly. The boy's body had all but turned into the swords that were within him and the evil buying the priest his time had all been but defeated. Yet they still raged as a clash of ideals, but yet they were two sides of the very same coin. Good and Evil, Light and Dark, Yin and Yang. They both knew deep down that one could not exist without the other and liked the other simply for that.

Not that they would ever breathe a word of that to each other.

So as broken limbs threw punches driven by sheer will neither aware that they were being watched.

Ilya stood there in her heavy dress of spun gold and watched with tears forming in her eyes. Her hands were clinched at her side as skin as she watched beloved flesh being shredded by more and more steel that should not have been real. She wondered if this fate was kinder to her younger brother than the man who's soul was trapped inside of her, but neither ending was happy.

The boy would die only to have his lover waste away without him.

The man had been damned to an eternity of slaughtering many so countless he would never see would live.

Ilya watched as the priest fell first, his determination and body falling to the one named Emiya Shirou. She watched as Shirou stood panting, staring ahead with blank, lifeless eyes at the horror brewing before him. She bit her lip and brushed away tears with a heavy hand before taking another hard step.

She wished she had more of the Servants inside of her, after all she didn't want to part with Archer. It would have been nice to take him with her into eternity, to have his soul reborn with hers over and over again. However she knew that was not to be.

"Sempai," a familiar soft voice whimpered beside her.

Ilya turned to see the nude, blood streaked girl standing before her. Matou Sakura was once again sporting her soft violet eyes and hair. Ilya regarded her dark counter part and tilted her head.

"He's dying," she Sakura whispered, tears pouring down her eyes, "Nee-san's dead and Sempai's dying . . . It's all my fault."

Ilya knew that Rin was far from dead, after all the magus was too stubborn to die from such a trivial wound inflicted by her own sister. However she was right about Shirou, but both young women had been shaped for a purpose by nefarious forces. They had the ability to work a Miracle between the two of them.

Ilya held out her small hand smiled and said, "Well, you have the power to change it, if you want."

Sakura blinked at her hand and asked in a soft voice, "What do you mean, Ilya?"

"We were both messed with for other's gain. I think it might be nice to make a wish of our own making, don't you think?" Ilya asked with a grin as Sakura bit her lip, but the other girl's hand carefully grasped her own.

There was no peace, no sense of satisfaction, just burning anguish.

The former king of the Britons sat up with a scream as she was brought back into the hellish cave where she thought everything had ended.

_"Onii-chan, I'm going to need you to wake up, Onii-chan."_

It was a soft voice, an all too familiar one with a sweet sing-song quality to it. A cool hand caressed his cheek and his eyes opened to gleaming, white light. Automatically he reached up for that illusive hand, the harsh bronze of his skin a stark contrast to the gleaming white. Crimson eyes squinted shut as a large smile spread across angelic features framed by silken hair the color of fresh falling snow.

"Ilya," he whispered, his voice harsh and rusty even to his own ears as the rest of his senses began to focus.

There was no gaping hole leaking from his chest, his left arm was attached to his body once again, and there was no connection to an interesting little magus. The prana that was flowing through his circuits was his own and there was nothing ethereal about his existence. Even though steel was his body and fire was his blood, the tissues were restored and whole. Life was given once again.

"They're going to need you, Onii-chan," Ilya said as the former Counter Guardian Emiya rose shakily to a sitting position. Ilya was standing before him, a being shining with her own inner light that was almost blinding to behold.

His eyes widened at the sadness reflected in crimson eyes that were too old for the face that held them. Automatically the large hand held the smaller one even tighter as brother and sister stared at each other for what seemed like a small eternity. After a moment Archer broke the silence and said, "Ilya, what's going on?"

"I'm acting like an older sister for once. You tried so hard to protect your Ilya and it broke you," she said in a soft voice as her eyes shimmered with crystal tears and her free hand brushed his cheek.

He threw his free arm around her and cradled her close, her words a heavy weight upon him. "I'm not losing you again," he said against the silk of her hair as he clutched the soft material of her dress.

Ilya stepped back and gave him a bittersweet smile before her hands slipped away from him. "It's my choice Onii-chan," she said as those glittering tears finally spilled from her eyes.

Archer shook his head and said, "No. _No_, goddamn it, Ilya, I'm not . . ."

Eyes like the finest rubies bore into his, locking and holding him in place as if she had

bolted him down to the cave floor. Her voice rang out with the clarity of a bell as she said, "Farewell, Onii-chan. This time promise me you will try to be happy, see what my onii-chan saw."

"No," Archer said, and he would have shook his head and grabbed her if he would have been able to move, but the pressure she was putting on him was too great.

Ilya smiled, spinning ever so slightly, her white dress floating around her. She said, "Maybe you can save the one person you failed." Then she was gone, walking farther and farther away from him.

Archer gritted up his teeth and welled up every reserve he had to break the spell she'd put upon him. With a shout he fell forward onto trembling limbs as he forced himself to his feet. He started to run in the direction she had went to, screaming her name over and over again.

Yet she had left him once again.

A loud, female scream in a voice he knew all too well resounded from deeper within the cave. Gnashing his teeth, he looked back to where Ilya had vanished and headed into the cave. Each step deeper into the cave brought him closer and closer, Ilya's last words to him ringing through his head with each step.


	2. Chapter 1: The Collapse from Within

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Chapter One**

**The Collapse from Within**

Bile was raising sharp, bitter, and burning from deep from within as a thousand things swirled at once. Small hands encased in heavy gauntlets made from blackened metal with vicious ridges trembled violently as the slight form rolled over. Pressure was burning behind closed eyes as the acidic contents forced themselves out through a raw throat. Tears streaked down a bloodied face with each dry heave until the small girl was coughing and trembling.

_What have I done? What was done to me? I failed . . . They betrayed me . . . I betrayed them . . . Why was I not granted my peaceful end? Have I not suffered enough? _

King Arturia Pendragon rose to her knees before screaming again.

The former Servant Saber was aware of the cave around her starting to tremble and quake in the wake of the events that had taken place here. Automatically she looked down at the blackened armor covering her and the gash in the dull steel that had gone straight into her flesh. Her fingers prodded the tear in the armor to find the wound completely healed, as if Avalon had been restored to her, but she had not had her sheath since Emiya Kiritsugu had been her Master. Her eyes had narrowed as she absently brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen into her face.

She was aware to notice that her hair had been restored to its normal gold, not the ashen color it had became when she had been taken by the Shadow. However further glances downward proved that she was still garbed in the hellish black armor and garb. Small teeth worried a bottom lip as ice fear gripped the knight's chest as she looked over beside her. Her eyes closed for an instant as the chill continued to race through her veins before she took a deep breath and opened them.

Lying there almost like a gleaming beacon was her sword. Excalibur was resting upon the ground gleaming silver, golden, and deep blue. The Sword of the Lake was exactly how she held it for so many years, the taint of the evil that had gripped its wielder completely scrubbed clean. Saber almost sobbed in relief as she reached for her sword and brought it to her chest. A loud rumbling lurched again from the walls around her as bits of stone began to fall more and more to the cave floor, yet she remained still.

_Let these walls be my end. Let this cave be my tomb, _she thought as she looked up with gritted teeth.

In the distance she heard a loud cry that sounded like her second Master's voice. Automatically she looked towards the direction it had came but shook her head. She felt no ties to anyone anymore. She was no longer anyone's sword but her own, and she had no battle left within her. It was not the beautiful death at Shirou's hands she thought she had been granted, but she was not going to argue the unfairness of it all.

After all, she had been a King. She had walked hand and hand with miserable duty and unfair situations to serve the Greater Good. _Now it will just end. I had failed, this is an acceptable end to me, _she thought as she tightened her hold around Excalibur and shut her eyes.

The cave rumbled again and she held her head up, waiting for the crushing pressure to end her misery. However there was a sound that was growing louder and louder, like the footsteps of someone at a heavy run. Her eyes opened to see a tall figure approaching and she widened at the deep red they wore.

Servant Archer stood a mere stone's throw from her with his broad chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. His steel grey eyes locked upon her before widening as they stared at each other. _You died, _Saber thought with a tilt of her head as she studied him. Mayhap the same force that forced her back to life had done the same to him as well.

_Unlike me, Archer deserves it, _she thought as he rapidly approached her. The last she had seen of him had been the first battle she had partaken in since the darkness within Sakura had taken her. The battle had changed her opinion of him; after all he stood alone against forces he had no chance to win against. In fact she had swatted him back as if he had been an annoying fly only to have him come rushing back to protect his Master, Shirou, and Ilya.

Saber bowed her head and waited for the killing blow, after all the last time they had met they had been enemies. Instead large hands grasped her shoulders and lifted her to her feet. Her eyes widened and she snapped, "What are you doing?"

"This cave's going to collapse any minute. Rin, Sakura, Emiya Shirou, and Rider are still in here. I'm not letting anyone die here today, especially not you," Archer said in a low voice with narrowed eyes as he propelled her in the direction where she heard another yell, but this time in Rider's voice.

Archer had ran through the rumbling cavern at a frightening speed as he poured more and more prana into his limbs. With each step his mind was racing as he was assessing everything around him. _My body seems to be in the same condition as when I was a Servant before Saber injured me, _he thought as he heard _her _voice screaming over and over again. He Analyzed the cave: _Structural integrity compromised. Stone structure cracked, the fissure rapidly spreading. Five minutes until complete cave in._

_ I can work with five minutes, _Archer thought as the screams cut through him. Even after all of his life and the records he had gleaned off of from his duty as a Counter Guardian, he still hated that sound more than anything. He became so familiar with the cries of others to tell if the screams were due to injury, fear, or soul shattering despair. The screams stilled for a moment before breaking off into a heaving, choking sound for a long moment before continuing with a rawness that made Archer's chest tight.

He broke into a chamber that was still smoldering from a previous battle and kneeling in the center of the chamber was a small figure clutching a sword nearly her size to her chest.

Saber was dressed still in her black armor and gown with its hard, cruel ridges. The Holy Sword clutched to her chest was gleaming like a captured star though as if it had been scrubbed clean of the corruption that had infected its master. As always, Archer was caught by the sheer beauty of Excalibur and its master. Despite being streaked with blood, her skin was no longer ashen, her hair was a golden blond, and the wide, red rimmed, tear streaked eyes that met his could shame the finest emerald.

He watched Saber's brow furrow as she tilted her head while she watched him with those wide eyes. Yet she made no move towards him nor did she even stand at her feet with her sword at the ready as she should have. Her head bowed down in surrender and Archer felt something hot flash through him as he closed the distance between them.

_"Maybe you can save the one person you failed."_

He grasped her shoulders and lifted her to her feet as if she was a doll. He towered over her now, more than he did as a teenager. He was aware she was not _his_ Saber; he had failed his Saber to save the world. It was the first of many difficult choices he had made in his attempt to pursue his idea of being a "super hero", and, from some of the records he had glimpsed in that first night from previous Grail Wars where Rin had apparently summoned him, was a mistake he would try to rectify when he could.

Despite everything, every time he would see her for the first time again he felt like he was seventeen again lying on the floor of his shed looking at a radiant form encased in moonlight. It had been a glorious sight that had been burned into his memory even after he had been thrown into Hell so many times. He wondered each time if it rendered him prone like this time, giving her time to strike at him because for that bright, shining moment he wasn't Archer or Emiya the Counter Guardian, but Shirou the Innocent, Idealistic Idiot struck stupid by her radiance.

Her eyes snapped open and she asked, "What are you doing?"

He glared at her bloodied, tear streaked face and how her blond hair was falling loose from the once perfect bun. The blackened, bloody Saber was dull, dirty and had been cast aside. _She was wanting to die, _Archer thought as he looked down at her, torn between his anger and the knowledge of the all too familiar feeling himself.

_ "Maybe you can save the one person you failed."_

Archer's voice was surprisingly low and gruff, even for him, as he said, "This cave's going to collapse any minute. Rin, Sakura, Emiya Shirou, and Rider are still in here. I'm not letting anyone die here today, especially not you." Saber's green eyes widened as he pushed her forward. A yell rounded from deep within the cavern, the exotic throb having to be Rider's voice. Saber stumbled forward but did not start walking on her own, so he grabbed her by the wrist and took off at a run again.

He felt another hot spike of anger as she made no move to cut him down with Excalibur, but meekly held the sword close to her as they traveled deeper into the cave. With each step it continued to rumble and shake more, more and more stones tumbling to the ground. Archer gritted his teeth when he heard Sakura say, "Rider, please get Nee-san and Sempai out of here."

"I am not leaving you," was Rider's reply as Archer caught view of another sight that made him curse.

Sakura was cradling an unconscious and bloodied Emiya Shirou in her hands. Archer's eyebrows lifted at the sight of the boy's left arm whole and attached lying limply against the teen's bloodied body. Sakura's nude body was blood streaked as she clung to her lover, her eyes filled with tears. Rider was holding Rin's limp form, but underneath the red turtleneck Archer could see the faint, sickly, green glow of her chest through the fabric.

"We're getting everyone out of here alive," Archer said as Rider and Sakura's heads snapped to where he was standing beside Saber. He was already taking off his mantle to drape around Sakura's shoulders as he lifted Shirou's body over his shoulder. He said, "We have about three minutes before the cavern completely collapses. If we move quickly we'll make it."

Sakura's eyes widened at him and she swallowed before looking at Rider. Rider tilted her head and frowned before looking back at Sakura. The Gorgon said, "What did the two of you do, Sakura?"

"Made sure that Sempai wouldn't die and be happy . . ." Sakura said with wide eyes as she looked up at Archer before whispering, "That's . . ."

Archer sighed and said, "We'll talk semantics when we're not in peril."

"Leave me behind," Saber said in a soft voice as she looked away.

Archer glared and said, "No. Are you afraid to atone, Saber? Why, you're shaming that sword to give up that easily."

Green eyes sparked and narrowed as he continued, "You failed to protect him once, it would be shameful of a knight like yourself to fail both people you pledged your sword to, wouldn't it?"

Saber continued to glare at him when he looked at Rider and said, "You're the fastest and physically the strongest. You lead the charge. I can take Rin as well in case there are any obstacles that are probably going to appear in our path."

"This is a turn of events," Rider said with a tiny smirk as Rin was easily placed in a fireman's carry so she could use her hands if need be.

_You're telling me, _he said before looking down at Sakura who was clutching his mantle to her naked form tightly. She looked up at him and he said, "Sakura, no one else is dying in this cave today. Let's go."

Sakura's hands were shaking.

No matter what, she couldn't stop them from trembling. They had managed to escape the cavern before it closed in. Sempai was alive and so was Nee-san. Rider had gotten Nee-san home where she had called informing everyone that Rin was already rapidly recovering on her lands especially after Rider gave her a bit of the prana she was siphoning from Sakura.

Then there was Sempai.

Archer carried him to their room and laid the redhead out on the futon. Sakura looked up and asked, "Why isn't he waking up?"

"I don't know," Archer said in a soft voice when he shook his head.

Sakura placed her shaking hands to her face and said, "Ilya said we were making a wish. We kept him from dying."

"I think you brought him back to life, but he's still injured," Archer said as he looked down at her. She flushed as she realized that she was still nude except for the mantle he had given her.

Still, she looked up at him and asked, "Is there anything we can do?"

"Actually yes. We need Saber," Archer said with a nod.

Sakura blinked and asked, "What do you mean?"

"Your Emiya Shirou has something of hers within him, something that his foster father placed into him when he found him in the fire all of those years ago. It saved his life, but with Saber close by it activates and would completely heal him," Archer explained.

Sakura's eyes widened as she asked, "Does Saber know this?"

"No and neither does he, not yet anyway," Archer said with a shake of his head towards the sleeping redhead.

Sakura bit her lip and said, "And you know because you were him, weren't you?"

Archer sighed, his large shoulders slumping ever so slightly before nodding. He answered, "Yeah, I was, but because of you now he won't become me. So I thank you for that, Matou Sakura."

She stared at him and said, "I could go get Saber."

"I'll get Saber. You get cleaned off and dressed. Then I can fix us something to eat, I'm sure you're starving after all of this and since I have a mortal body again having a good meal would probably be a good thing for me as well," he said with an all too familiar smile.

Sakura felt herself at ease slightly as he headed for the door. She said, "Archer?"

"Yes?" he replied as he looked back at her.

She bowed to him and said, "Thank you, for everything."

"I really didn't do anything," he said with a snort and a shake of his head.

Sakura ran her fingers over Shirou's left arm before looking at Archer's. The longer length with its darker skin and thicker muscles was all too familiar to her. She swallowed and said, "Yes you did. You gave my Sempai the means to save us all."

Archer snorted and said, "By almost killing him." With that, he was gone, leaving Sakura alone with her lover. She sank to her knees and wrapped her arms around him for a moment. She wanted to clean him off before getting him rested, but she didn't know if that would reopen his injuries or not.

She wondered how Archer had become so bitter, but was relieved by his comment. _And something I'm going to ask him about. Nee-san got her answers from Ilya. I'm going to get my answers from Archer directly. _


	3. Chapter 2: Cryptic Words and Half Answer

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Chapter Two**

**Cryptic Words and Half Answers**

It was heavy, encasing her in a steel cage and making each step a massive effort. Saber gritted her teeth as she shed the metal gauntlets and let them fall to the ground beside her. Then small hands reached down to untie the plates covering the stiff black skirts under the armor. Fingers picked at heavy leather lacings, trying to work stubborn and hard to reach knots. Saber grunted in frustration as heat filled her cheeks. _I had forgotten what wearing actual armor was like, and I truly did not wear anything like this, _she thought as she stared down at the black skirts that hit her about mid-calf.

Saber had acted like a man, dressed like a man, but for some reason she could not fathom the Holy Grail decided to clothe her in a dress each time she had accepted its summons. It was as if Fate had been taunting her then, stripping her of what she had worked so hard to accomplish despite her gender. Shirou's adopted father had been displeased due to the fact she had been a woman and Shirou himself had acted foolishly because of it. Sakura had been pleased with her, but Saber understood why.

Her fingers caught on the leather thong before the knot for the left plate plate finally gave. It fell to the floor with a loud crash that seemed to echo through the paper walls of the room and down the hallway. Her head jerked up and she looked around before twisting to reach the plate on her left side. Her fingers fumbled against it almost uselessly and she quietly cursed as her shoulders began to ache.

Saber had been unusual for a Servant, but there was still a shock to being brought back to life again, _true _life, especially after tasting the devastating power that Sakura had given her. It had felt too good to be like that, to be an utter force of destruction and to unleash her true feelings upon the world. She understood all too well Lancelot's desire to be summoned as a Berserker in the Fourth War. _It would be a sweet thing to throw all your pain into madness and battle, _she thought before gritting her teeth as her almost feeble efforts did nothing to release the armor plate on her left.

"Saber."

She froze at the low, male voice from behind her. She turned to look at the fellow Knight standing at the doorway with an unreadable look on his face as he folded his arms across his chest. He was still without the crimson mantle Saber was use to seeing him in, giving her a view of long, powerful arms that had a few scars littering the bronze flesh.

She jerked to her full height as her fingers stopped working at the knot, yet her cheeks burned as she eyed the right set of plates lying on the ground. Archer's state of undress had to do with him sparing Sakura's modesty while Saber was finding her armor too taxing to wear. Its blackened state was even painful to gaze upon. It was heavy and brutal, nothing honorable or pure in its sharp plates and harsh lines. It was the armor of a killer who had no qualms about who was shattered under her foot.

"It's heavy and damaged, possibly beyond repair," Saber said as her fingers ran idly over the tear in the breastplate. Something chalky and dark came up from the surface of the metal and a quick look confirmed dark red dust on pale finger tips. The small hand clinched into a fist before falling absently at Saber's side.

Archer titled his head thoughtfully at it before moving to her left side. She blinked as he dropped down to his knees and jerked the fastenings holding the plates up. She stared at him for a moment as he worked, his eyes narrowed at the task before him. "I can do this myself," she said as she started to step aside.

He smirked up at her and said, "If you move too quick Saber you might cause me to lose one of my fingers. I just got my arm back, so I'll go ahead and thank you now for being still."

"Why are you doing this?" Saber asked as he gingerly lifted the set of plates from her hip. He carefully laid it beside the first discarded set of plates before looking back at her.

He answered, "Because Emiya Shirou still needs your help."

"I doubt I can be any aid to him," she said as she looked away. _No aid other than to bloody his innocent hands. _

Broad shoulders shrugged as Archer answered, "Ilya and Sakura were able to resurrect him from death, but he wasn't healed."

"Then why are we back? That power should have been directed to making Shirou whole again," Saber said with a frown.

Archer looked down with a distant look in his steel colored eyes. He flexed his hand and said, "Ilya wanted her younger brother alive no matter what the circumstances or time."

"I don't understand your worlds," Saber said with a frown, "Your cryptic words are vexing, Archer. You speak as if you know me, but I have no idea who you are."

A faint smile touched his features as he said, "It's a bad habit of mine." Then he moved to her back. She froze as she felt the warmth of his hands through her armor as he began to take off the breast and back plates.

"How the hell you guys can wear such cumbersome armor is beyond me," Archer said with a grunt as her body was rocked back with the force of his efforts.

She frowned and asked, "Why do you need my aid for Shirou? You seem to have everything in control here."

"It's a good façade, but I'm just one man who really needs to learn his limits this time around," Archer said as Saber felt a lifting of weight from her back. She took a deep breath at the lack of restraint and tilted her head to look at him.

Saber gripped the black skirt of her dress and said, "Well, I am glad that you were given a second chance. I believe you proved yourself worthy of it."

The breast plate began to slip down and Archer carefully removed it as well. Saber swayed slightly at the lack of weight pulling her down. She rubbed her arm and turned to look at him still on his knees before her. It made her taller than him, but not by much and the eye contact was shockingly frank. Heat flooded Saber's cheeks as she said, "Were you someone's squire at some point? You knew how to handle that armor expertly."

"No, I was just a sheath for a sword a lifetime ago," Archer said as he rose to his feet.

Her brow furrowed at his cryptic words yet again and she sighed. "I believe it would pain you to be straightforward for once, Archer."

"It's just not the right time to reveal myself to you, Saber," he said with a slight grin that quickly vanished, "But Emiya Shirou does need your help."

Saber swallowed and asked, "What can I do to help him?"

"Stay by his side during the night," was Archer's answer as he headed for the door once again.

_ This isn't mine._

Archer stared at the nearly pristine piece of white cotton in his hand with a frown. Large hands tightening on the fabric and causing it to crinkle as keen eyes narrowed at it. _It isn't mine._ _But I want it to be._

Looking down at the lightweight armor and heavy pants, Archer realized that what was on his back was all that he had. He had rounded up everyone, gotten everyone safe at home, and now he was standing in a room that he could find everything blindfolded. Despite his familiarity with everything here he knew it wasn't his.

He was misplaced. He should have been back at the Throne awaiting use as a Counter Guardian or being summoned as Archer once again. His mind was filled with records upon records that had no rhyme or reason and would take lifetimes to sort through, and he had a feeling all the blood in those pages would break his mind even more than before. He was a man out of time, in a world that was all too familiar yet all too alien.

_Yet I'm free._

Archer slid the strap over his neck before tying the apron strings behind his back. A deep breath was taken before the kitchen was inventoried. A cold blast of air greeted heated skin when Archer opened the refrigerator and took stock of the ingredients inside. Without thinking, large hands began to pull out wrapped slices of meat, vegetables and milk before gathering proper spices, utensils, and pots, pans and a wok. The rice cooker was plugged in, filled, and the lid closed before the former Servant fell into familiar yet long unused patterns.

_Is Rider alive too? Should I make enough for her? I have enough ingredients for large portions for all of us . . ._ A loud, gnawing rumble erupted from Archer's gut as he stood holding a leek in his hand. The vegetable was rested upon the carving block before a hand absently rested on the ridged stretch of armor as an empty stomach made its demands known again.

_I need to make enough to take back to Rin as well, if she's awake and can eat, _Archer thought as he started chopping vegetables with a real knife, not one of his own making. A pang hit him at the thought of his former Master being carried in Rider's arms, her red turtleneck soaked with her own blood. Rider had assured everyone that Rin was recovering nicely, but he needed to see her for himself.

_Then there is Saber._

The image of those haunted emerald eyes looking up had burned into him as surely as the sight of her radiance that first night eons ago. _That was not the Saber who pledged herself as her sword to me. Nor am I the boy who had been her Master, _he thought with a shake of his head. The knife nimbly carved through heavy roots and crisp, green leaves leaving even slices in its wake.

"Archer?" a small, feminine voice said from the doorway.

He looked up to see Sakura standing there dressed in a long skirt and heavy white sweater. Violet hair was still damp and pale cheeks were still flushed from the shower. Her violet eyes looked around, down and everywhere but him. Then again the last time they had met before today he had been trying to kill her.

She was too much of a threat to Rin and there was _something_ he couldn't put his finger on at the time. In hindsight it was just Alaya who was picking at his brain to let him know that a horror such as the Shadow was threatening humanity. Which just had pissed him off at the time, but he'd been all but powerless to stop it, but apparently he had made the right choice to graft his arm onto Emiya Shirou's.

"I've got this. I'm sure you can use a rest," he said, giving the timid girl a chance to flee from him. He looked down before gathering up his aromatics and placing them in the pot with a bit of chicken stock. The rich, earthy fragrance filled the room in puffs of steam in a way that only caused Archer's stomach to clinch even more.

Sakura said, "What happened to you?"

Archer looked up from stirring the pot and she asked again, "What happened to you?" Even though she was biting her lip slightly, her violet eyes met his and held them.

"I was an idiot," he said with a shrug.

Sakura toyed with the sleeve of her sweater and said, "But you became a hero, right?"

"Not exactly. I stupidly made a deal thinking it was something, but it turned out to be something worse and cursed myself for it," Archer answered before turning back to the refrigerator.

Sakura answered, "I'm not Nee-san. She might be able to get through your half answers, but I want the whole truth, Archer."

"So you can make sure that your sempai doesn't leave your side? If that was the case I would have killed him myself," Archer said as he met her eyes.

She frowned and said, "You wouldn't have."

"I would have without thinking twice about it. In fact, that was my wish in this," Archer replied.

Sakura frowned and said, "If you wanted to prevent whatever happened to you from happening, why not just tell him?"

"Time doesn't work like that Sakura," Archer said before turning back and checking the rice cooker, "All it does is create another reality."

She said, "Then . . . I'm glad Ilya was able to bring you back too."

He stopped and stared at her, but her violet eyed gaze was honest and her expression utterly sincere. She smiled, lighting up her whole face, and said, "Even if you're not my Sempai, I still don't want Emiya Shirou to suffer. Neither would Nee-san. She tried hiding it, but she was upset with what you did for her."

"I'm good at pissing your sister off," Archer said as he felt his own lips quirk up.

Sakura walked over to him and held out her hand. Blinking, he took it and was surprised at the firmness of her handshake. She said, "I want to thank you too. Without what you did I would have lost Sempai and it would have been my fault."

"What the Shadow was doing wasn't your fault, Sakura," Archer said with a frown as he let her hand go.

Her smile was fragile around the edges as she said, "Yes it was. It was acting on what I wanted. I was angry at Nee-san. It would have killed her. I wanted Sempai unable to fight anymore but alive. It took his arm. Yet you sacrificed yourself so Nee-san lived and Sempai had the power to fight for me."

"The majority will always win over the minority, Sakura," Archer said with a shake of his head.

She headed over to check on some beef he had stewing and shook her head. As she lifted the pot her eyes met his again. She said, "And maybe you'll find your own special person someday, Archer."

_ I failed, yet I am still here._

Saber was sitting in perfect Japanese style beside her former Master's side. She found her gaze wandering to his bare left arm with its sleek muscles and pale skin. It was proportioned to the rest of his body, not foreign and mismatched as it had been during their last fight. She wonder how it had been possible for Archer to graft his own arm onto Shirou, but if he hadn't Shirou would have died far sooner than their confrontation in the cavern.

The redhead shifted in his sleep, reaching out for something that wasn't there. Biting her lip Saber reached over and recovered him with his blanket. There was color returning to his cheeks and he wasn't deathly still anymore. His breathing had evened out the moment she had sat beside him.

She bowed her head as she remembered forcefully telling him that she was going to sleep with him to protect him. The discussion had turned into a heated argument until Shirou all but forced her to sleep in the room beside his. It had irked her at the time, but she respected the sentiment after being in Sakura's head and seeing her memories.

A shudder ran through the young woman's small frame at the phantom feel of those _things_. Even though Saber's body had never been touched in such a fashion by anyone, Sakura had been violated since she was a child. The happiness Shirou granted Sakura was yet another reason Saber had been hesitant to fight him. It was just something else on her long lists of regrets and failures.

There was a slight creek and a whisper of paper sliding against paper that filled the room. Saber looked up to see a tall figure haloed from the light in the hallway standing there holding a tray. "I figured you were hungry," Archer said as he entered the room.

The rich aroma of food spiraled through her nostrils and made Saber's mouth water. Her eyes widened at the arrangement of fare on the tray that Archer had set before her. Then she closed her eyes, knowing she had done nothing to deserve such care from him. Yet the smell was too much and she turned towards it.

She picked up the chopsticks and began to eat, cursing her weakness for not letting herself waste away.

"I'll come back for the tray later," Archer said as he headed for the door.

She bit her lip and nodded, not knowing exactly what to say to him at the moment as her eyes lingered on him as he left the room.


	4. Chapter 3: Promises and Alliances

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Chapter Three**

**Promises and Alliances**

"Mmph," was the muffled curse that came from parch lips as light streamed in through drawn curtains. Tohsaka Rin pulled the heavy blanket over her head to keep the warmth in and the light out. There was a tiny twang of pain in her stomach at the movement and a throbbing in her head. Green light flickered from underneath heavy fabric as pain shot through her right arm and the left was starting to burn with an all too searing familiarity.

Rin jolted into an upright position and yelped at all the aches that chorused through her before her eyes scanned the room. There was the familiar canopy bed that she'd slept in since she had been a child, the fabric still held the same yellow and brown pattern and the curtains were still dark red. A tiny hiss escaped parted lips as an aching hand tucked back an oily, dank lock of hair as the room's occupant took stock of her surroundings.

Then she looked down to see her torn, bloodied red turtleneck on her body with the right sleeve cut off to reveal her arm covered from fingertips to shoulder with white bandages. The Tohsaka Crest on her left arm was flickering with its alien green light and filling her with the familiar urge to lop her own arm off. Her right however was throbbing with sheer, sharp agony as she flexed her finger tips. A cry escaped her lips as she dropped her arm onto the blanket, which sent another jolt to her stomach that made her bend over in pain.

There was a click and the creak of the heavy door opening and an all too familiar low voice that said, "Rin!"

She looked up, her breath catching in her chest as she stared at the large form entering her room carrying a tea pot and breakfast. She swallowed twice, her mouth a mess of cotton with a bitter, coppery taste, and stared. Grey eyes widened as large, dusky hands set the tray down before moving towards her. Rin's aching hands shook as she looked up at the familiar form of her sarcastic Servant standing there, oddly not wearing his red mantle and tail but still in his breast plate and those pants.

"Archer," she said in a soft voice as she looked up at him.

Archer pulled up a chair and said, "Hello Rin."

She stared at him for a moment before her left hand reached for a pillow. Without warning and despite the sharp burning pain in her arm, Rin swung the pillow at him with all of her might. Her burning eyes narrowed as she snapped, "You _idiot!_ You damned idiot! You damned lying idiot . . ."

Hot tears spilled down her cheeks as she kept slamming the pillow at him again and again. "You . . . God . . ." Rin spat before the pillow fell from her hand and she threw herself at him.

Large, warm hands gently ran through her hair as she held him.

It wasn't something that she would have even contemplating doing a week ago, but after everything she hugged her Archer as she cried. She had no idea how or why he was here, but he was and she was _alive_. "It's okay Rin, you can let it all out," he said as he continued to stroke her hair.

She did, in great gulping sobs as he held her, being careful not to touch her bandaged arm or jar her too much.

She cried.

She cried for Sakura.

She cried for Emiya Shirou.

She cried for her failures.

She cried for her Archer.

Hell, she was crying to be alive, and she couldn't stop. She looked up at him and said, "A-archer . . ." _Not Archer, Emiya Shirou,_ her mind reminded her, Ilya's grave look and haunted crimson eyes all too familiar in her mind.

_"Yes, that was Onii-chan, or a version of him. A version of Emiya Shirou who had thought he had became a hero only to have his ideal trampled again and again."_

She moved away from him and said, "What happened? Where's Sakura and Emiya-kun? Is Emiya-kun . . ."

"Sakura's with Emiya Shirou right now. Emiya Shirou's alive, and ironically recovered," Archer said as he grabbed a tissue from her dresser and handed it to her.

She bit her lip as she mopped her face with it before throwing it into the waist basket beside her bed. She looked around and said, "Well, I take it the world didn't end."

"Or you could be in the afterlife with me as your only companion," Archer said with a slight smirk.

Rin felt her lips quirk up as she replied, "I'll admit that I'm not the best person, but I didn't deserve anything for that sort of punishment."

"Despite all I did for you, I'm wounded," Archer said with a shake of his head.

She bit her lip and said, "That doesn't explain how you're here."

"And alive," Archer said as he bowed his head, his eyes closing and his broad shoulders slumping slightly. Without the mantle on Rin could make out many small scars running up and down his arms, signs of his lack of care during his life. It made her want to hit him, scream at him for being an idiot, and not to waste his second chance.

Rin tilted her head and asked, "What about Ilya?"

"She sacrificed herself so Emiya Shirou and I would live," Archer said in a small voice as his hands clinched into fists on his lap.

Rin reached out and touched his hand, the bandages a shocking contrast to his skin. She said, "I'm sorry."

"I am too," Archer said with a shake of his head.

"She cared for you and him a lot. When I talked to her, she was devastated with all that happened to you," Rin said in a soft voice, "I wanted to knock some sense into you, but I couldn't at that point." Then she looked at Archer and said, "Tell me everything, I missed a lot with the whole being stabbed and having rock caved on me."

Archer told Rin everything he knew about his and Saber's resurrection, leaving nothing out. She had been sleeping for the past two days, recovering from her near fatal injuries. He had been going back and forth from the Tohsaka house to the Emiya house. As he knew it would, the prolonged contact with Saber had activated Avalon to completely heal Emiya Shirou, but there were things that weren't so easily healed.

Sakura was trying to deal with the repercussions of what the Shadow had done. Then, more complicated, was Saber, a haunted version of the proud Knight that Archer had known and admired. Oddly enough, telling Rin the entire tale as he knew it made it easier for him to take. Just being around Rin was easier than being around the residents of the Emiya household. It was familiar here, but not a place he had once lived in lifetimes ago. There was no displacement of about being out of place but yearning to be part of something he couldn't here.

After the end of the sordid tale Rin was frowning slightly. Despite the bandages and bloodied clothing and her hair in desperate need of a good wash, her aquamarine eyes were burning bright and focused. He found himself smiling at the sight and slightly cursing Rider for not taking care of her. Wordlessly, he reached for the tea tray and the light breakfast he'd prepared for her.

He had made himself something heavier, apparently being reborn was doing wonders for his appetite and he found himself constantly hungry it seemed like, but he had fixed Rin simple biscuits with strawberry jam and eggs over easy, just the way she liked it. He poured them each tea, adding their preferred amounts of cream and sugar to their respective cups as Rin stared at the food for a moment. She swallowed and said, "You're not my Servant anymore . . ." Then she broke off with a shake of her head and gave him a rueful smile.

"Part of me wants to still call you Archer while another wants me to call you Shirou," she said as she took a sip of her tea before sighing as her eyes curled blissfully. He was sure that her toes were curling under her blankets as she drank. _Then after all, Rin is a very sensual creature, even if she's not aware of it._ He resisted the urge to shift ever so slightly, he himself fully aware of her.

He rubbed the back of his neck as he said, "I think it would be easier if you just call me Archer. There shouldn't be two Emiya Shirous existing at the same time."

"But you're still Emiya-kun," Rin said in a soft voice before she reached to eat. Her expression crumbled slightly and pain flashed through her eyes before she grabbed her plate and ate her first bite of eggs.

Archer snorted and said, "I was Counter Guardian Emiya. I haven't been Emiya Shirou for a long time."

"I don't know that many people who would have used themselves to shield another, Servant protecting their Master or not," Rin said with a smile, "And you're still an idiot."

He found himself smiling and replied, "And you're still difficult, Tohsaka."

"Please, it's weird when you call me that," she said with a tiny, almost shy smile, "And I like the fact you call me by my name. It seems like no one ever does, except Kirei, but I really don't count him. He said it more as an insult or taunt more than anything. It seems like to everyone else I'm just Tohsaka."

Archer blinked at her confession as she extended her now empty tea cup towards him. As he refilled it, he said, "Saber called you Rin."

"I can't imagine what's going on through her head right now," Rin said as he dolloped more cream and sugar into her cup after pouring the tea.

Archer flexed his hands as he sipped at his cup and said, "I can, to an extent. Even though she's free of the Grail's corruption now, she remembers what it was like. It forced her to feel and deal with things she simply repressed inside of her, and considering she repressed everything in her lifetime it's wearing at her."

"Well, technically, you would know her better than anyone, right?" Rin asked before lifting a biscuit generously slathered with butter and jam to her chapped lips.

He sighed and said, "That's the problem, Rin. I use to live here and now, but things are different and I'm not who I was, and I don't know if I'm coming or going or what."

"But you can admit that," Rin said as she reached out to touch his hand. Her Crest had stopped glowing as she started to eat, as if it knew she would get proper care for her body. He looked at her and she continued, "And it takes a lot of strength to admit that, Archer. We've all made mistakes we need to correct." Her aquamarine eyes looked down and she sighed before biting her lip.

He reached out and stroked her hair and those large eyes looked up at him. "I think we should make a promise, Rin," he said in a soft voice.

Rin tilted her head and studied him. She said, "What sort of promise?"

"That we'll keep ourselves from making other mistakes while we try to correct the ones we've already made," he said, "And we've already proven that we work incredibly well together."

"That's true," Rin said as her face spread into a smile, "And keeping you around for your tea alone would be more than worth it."

Archer snorted and said, "You know it's going to be a lot of work, you can't be lazy about this."

"It is a lot of work to live, Archer," Rin said with a shake of her head, "So yes, I promise to keep you from being an idiot and throw your life away again."

He smirked and replied, "And I promise to make sure you don't shut yourself off again."

"You know, I wouldn't have minded if you would have worn some of Father's old clothing. Especially since that armor is the only clothing you own," Rin said with a frown and her hands on her hips.

Archer grimaced as he was reminded of what he saw when Rin suggested that he looked through Tokomi Tohsaka's old wardrobe. First off he saw a variety of suits that were more suited to an American Riverboat Gambler than a magus, and then there was the fact that Rin's father was about ten centimeters shorter and ten kilograms lighter than Archer was. He said, "Rin, I don't think it would have fit."

Her eyes flickered over him, a sigh escaped her lips, and she said, "Who would have thought that Emiya-kun who complained about being small would grow to be so big."

"I had a late growth spurt when I was eighteen," Archer said as he felt his cheeks heat up, "Then with the physical training . . . It's not like I'm overly large or anything. Kotomine was taller than I was."

Rin smiled and said, "And he was freakish in height for an Asian. I wouldn't put you quite at 'freakish' but 'very tall'. You know, other than Berserker, you were the tallest of the Servants."

"Well, it's a known fact that people were smaller in the past," he said, but he smiled at her words.

Rin said, "True, but it's going to make shopping for you difficult. I mean, if you go around walking around the streets like that people are going to think you're a deviant."

"Oh, so you're into those sort of things, Rin?" Archer replied as her eyes widened and a splash of red filled her pale cheeks.

It was the sort of pattern they had faded into for the last few days after their Promise. Archer had no idea where this would take them, but both of them needed someone that they could drop their guard around. Saber rarely spoke to anyone other than polite words of gratitude to whoever had cooked dinner that night. If anything, she was like a ghost in the Emiya household that no one knew exactly what to do with.

_Then again everyone has their own feelings that they're struggling with, _Archer thought as he watched Rin. Rin glared at him and said, "I'm not the one walking around in smelly leather pants though, am I?"

"Honestly, right now I'd kill for a pair of jeans and a T-shirt," he admitted with a sigh, "This is good for combat, but not really good for other chores." A bit of guilt nipped at her that Rin was going to go as far to buy him clothing. He swore the first thing he was going to do was pick up some sort of job to pay her back. There were many things he could do, after all there wasn't anything he couldn't repair and he could use some physical labor to throw himself into. _Or I might want to talk to Fujimura-dono, _he thought, knowing that the yakuza boss was fully aware of the existence of magi and magecraft in his city.

_It may have been part of the reason he was so close to Dad. Dad would have been insurance against the Tohsaka and Matou families if they got too ambitious or dangerous, _Archer thought. He looked at Rin thoughtfully and Rin frowned, saying, "What's that look for?"

Archer smiled and said, "How would you like to increase your power in Fuyuki?"

"What do you mean?" Rin said with a frown.

He said, "Well, in a lot of ways the yakuza are a lot like magi, and it would help keep your lands safer if you made an alliance. Not to mention make a profit in the meanwhile."


	5. Chapter 4: Unwelcome Returns

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Chapter Four**

**Unwelcome Returns**

"I want to thank you for letting me borrow this, but I don't need it anymore and I think you should have it back."

Saber stood perfectly still as she looked up at the smiling face before her and the outstretched arms that was holding something that was very precious to her one time. Light bounced and danced along the golden surface and shimmered against the sapphires like sunlight upon the ocean. The queer engravings were as fresh as they had been over a millennia ago when the Faeries had gifted a sheath and a sword to a king who did not know the extent of her folly. Shirou was smiling as he extended Avalon to her and she continued to stare at it.

Shirou's smile wilted slightly as his golden brown eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "This is yours, right Saber?" he asked as the smile wilted into a full frown.

Saber swallowed, doing nothing for her dry mouth as her hand reached out towards the gilded sheath. "It was mine," she said in as soft voice before retracting her hand and shaking her head, "But I have no use for it anymore."

Shirou frowned and said, "But you need something to put your sword in. It shouldn't just be lying around in your bedroom naked like that."

_I have no use for that sword either, _she thought as she took a step back from him. She said, "I thank you for the gesture, but perhaps it should be suited to help you."

"I have no need for it," Shirou said before shifting his grip on Avalon so he could rub the back of his head, fluffing up his coppery hair with a smile. "It's beautiful, but it's not mine. I think it suits you."

Then with a sudden movement Avalon was shoved into her hands. "Shirou, I really do think you should keep this and not I," she replied, knowing exactly what it would do once within her care again. She started to push it back, but Shirou had taken a step back, his hand once again taking to rub the back of his head with that awkward little smile on his face.

Shirou shook his head and said, "No, I mean, Dad took it away from you when you needed it and never gave it back."

Saber gritted her teeth at the mention of Emiya Kiritsugu and met Shriou's eyes. She said, "Shirou, I have no need for it now . . ."

Shirou bowed and said, "I just think you should have it Saber. It's yours after all." Then with a smile he left her alone with the sheath.

Saber felt the familiar pulsating warmth in her hands as she held it as her eyes traveled up its gilded length. There was a spark of pain as small teeth worried into her bottom lip, but it was quickly chased away with Avalon's power. Saber bowed her head before she carried Avalon to her room.

The paper door slid open with a sigh, a slight reminder that sound carried very easily through these walls. Saber shut the door behind her before walking to where her futon was lying on the neatly polished floor. Excalibur was lying on the far side of the room, the large and brutal sword gleaming in the room's dim light. Saber's eyes narrowed at it before she walked over to reunite the sword with its sheath.

Small hands shook ever so slightly as they laid down the sheath onto the hardwood floor before the holy sword was taken in hand. Saber's gut clinched as she felt hot bile rush up her throat as her hands flexed around Excalibur's hilt. Hot tears burned her eyes as she all but forced the gleaming blade into its gilded sheath. She bit back a loud cry as she swallowed the heat that was rising within her and briskly used her borrowed shirtsleeve to roughly wipe her eyes dry.

She rose quickly to her feet as she stared down at painful reminders of her failures. She had been entrusted with Miracles made physical only to fail everyone who depended on her. She had failed the Britons. She had failed Shirou. She had failed Sakura, even though that was admittedly for the best. Kiritsugu had stripped her one chance to right everything she had done wrong with one order.

There was a sharp rap of knuckles upon wood that sent the former king spinning on her stocking clad feet towards the door. She called out, "Come in."

"Sakura and Shirou are meeting Rin and Archer at the Matou house to clean up. I think you should join us," Rider said in her low, haunting voice as her queer eyes seemed to pin Saber to the ground. Those square pupils never dilated in their lilac sea, now displayed for everyone to see behind special glasses Rin had crafted for the Servant.

Saber nodded and said, "I will be ready to leave."

"So, Shirou gave you back your sheath?" Rider asked as her eyes locked on Avalon and Excalibur.

Saber felt her fists clinched as she answered, "Yes, he did."

"Even though you really don't have a use for them," Rider said before turning on her heel with a shake of her head, leaving Saber alone to brace herself for another task she could not decline from.

"If Matou Zouken wasn't dead, I'd kill him myself. What is all this garbage? What sort of half assed magus was he?"

Saber blinked as yet another book was thrown over a red clad shoulder in a huff to fall gracelessly on the floor in a cloud of dust. Tohsaka Rin was standing in the library pouring after volume after volume of ancient spell books from the dead head of the Makari line. Rin picked another one before flipping through it, scowling with flashing aquamarine eyes and snapping, "Utterly useless!"

Saber asked, "What do you plan on doing with them?" Her eyes were drawn to the increasingly growing pile of books on the floor.

Rin tucked a lock of raven hair behind her ear before smiling at Saber. She said, "Well, I have half a mind to burn them, if they weren't worth a fortune. Honestly, it's Sakura's decision. She just said I could look through them first."

"That was kind of her," Saber said as she folded her hands behind her back and stood up straight.

Rin smiled and said, "Kinder than I deserve. I'm a horrible sister." There was a hint of sadness in her aquamarine eyes before they looked down in the newest book you were holding.

Saber swallowed and said, "I am glad for both of you things turned out the way that they did."

"What about you, Saber?" Rin asked before shutting the book and cradling it against her chest.

Saber shrugged and said, "It does not matter what I think, Rin. I am here regardless of any wishes to the contrary."

"Well, if you ever need anything you know where to find me," Rin said with a flashing smile.

Saber nodded and said, "All of you have been rather kind since that day." _Even though I almost slaughtered you all. Well, all of you save Archer and Rider. _Saber's eyes narrowed at the thought of the other Knight, the one who deserved the title that the Grail System had given him. He did not treat her with the same fragile kindness that Sakura and Shirou did, nor did he treat her with the utter distain of Rider or the upbeat friendliness of Rin. Archer . . . was a paradox to her, one that she wasn't sure she wanted to understand.

"You don't have to keep yourself so distant, Saber," Rin said as she laid the book down on the shelf.

Saber shook her head and said, "I am not being distant Rin."

"Archer's more open than you are. Well, to me anyway," Rin said as a tiny flash of red appeared on her cheeks.

Saber smiled and said, "Well, you two did seem rather intimate with one and another when you were his Master."

"Well, something like that," Rin said with a laugh.

Saber heard footsteps approaching and the door to the library opened with Archer, Shirou, Sakura, and Rider trailing in. The first three were carrying cleaning supplies and even had kerchiefs wrapped around their heads. Rider looked the same as always, ever cool and crisp, but then she was still a Servant and not bound to the mortal rules that everyone else in the room was.

"When they're not arguing, these two can really clean really well, Nee-san," Sakura said with a laugh as Shirou wrapped an arm around her waist.

Archer said, "Well, this place was well kept before hand, Sakura."

"Except downstairs," Shirou said as something passed in his eyes.

There was something shadowed in Archer's eyes as Sakura said in a soft voice, "Thank you for taking care of that. We would have helped . . ."

"The three of you had already dealt with _that_ for more than a lifetime's worth, Sakura," Archer said with a shake of his head, "Besides, I wanted to make sure _they_ were taken care of for myself."

Shirou said, "I still say you should have let me help instead of locking us upstairs and barricading the door."

"I thought it would be best for you not to see such things, Emiya Shirou, and I believe Sakura was glad that you didn't because it would have only gotten you excited without an outlet," Archer said with a dismissive wave of his hand as he approached Rin.

Saber automatically stepped out of the way as she observed the two of them. They were such dramatic contrasts with one and another. He was so large and dark while she was so petite and fair, his hair was white, hers fell in ebon waves, he had eyes like steel and her eyes gleamed like polished aquamarines. She reasoned that the two of them fit together rather well and knew that Rin deserved such a person on her side.

Archer looked at the pile of discarded books and said, "Seems like someone was displeased."

"I'm a little pissed at my father right now," Rin said with a sigh as she shook her hair back.

Sakura's eyes widened as she walked over to her elder sister. Rin stiffened for a moment before pulling Sakura into her embrace. Saber watched as Shirou walked over as well, holding Sakura from her free side, the girl cradled by her sister and lover. Saber half expected Archer to head for Rin, but he stood at the side, his arms crossed over his broad chest and watching with his unreadable eyes.

Rider nudged one of the books with her foot and said, "This place holds grief for everyone."

"I suggest burning it," Shirou said with a fierce look on his face.

Sakura bit her lip and looked up at him. She said, "We can't do that, Sempai."

"Sakura's right. It would draw too much attention and I don't want some half assed mage to be able to analyze this place and try to do what Zouken did," Rin said with a sigh.

"However enough money could be made by selling these books that someone could pursue a law degree," Archer said suddenly, his eyes looking over in Shirou's direction.

Rin jolted and she asked, "You a lawyer, Emiya-kun?"

"Don't you laugh at him, nee-san," Sakura said with a frown.

Shirou flushed and ran a hand through his hair. He said, "I'd still be upholding justice and helping others, but I wouldn't put Sakura or myself at risk. We'd been talking about it a lot for the last few days."

"His grades are good enough, he's just going to need to study his ass off to get into a good college," Archer said with a shrug.

Shirou's eyes lit up and he said, "Well, I'm not going to end up like you."

"You'd better not, or I'm going to get in line to kick your ass," Archer said with a half smirk and a shake of his head.

Saber shifted ever so slightly as she watched the exchange as Rin and Rider joined in. Rider taking Sakura's side, Rin and Archer teasing and bantering with each other back and forth and finally Shirou and Sakura in the center of their own love. All the while Saber was apart from them, but then none of them would understand how or what she felt. So she simply watched them with a twang she didn't want to place as they planned a future she had no place or desire to be part of.


	6. Chapter 5: Discarded Precious Things

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Chapter Five**

**Discarded Precious Things**

Ryuudou Issei was actually glad that part of taking the path of his faith was shaving his hair as even the mid August night was threatening to suffocate him. The back of his hand moved across his brow, quickly if messily removing the build up of perspiration there. Heat seemed to shimmer along the air, giving it an almost oppressive feeling as the young monk walked amongst the streets. There was barely a whisper around him as he continued his nightly stroll, insomnia drawing him from his futon and onto the streets.

It had been over a year and a half ago during that terrible February when Kuzuki Souichirou's beautiful fiancée appeared to live in the temple. The beautiful foreign woman had been soft spoken and seemingly had eyes only for Souichirou. Issei approved of the match even though Caster had not been human, but a spirit given a semblance of life. However soon after Caster had come to live with them Fuyuki seemed to crumble around itself.

First there had been the gas leaks that had hospitalized many and some still felt the effects of their near brush with death. Then there had been Souichirou's murder at the temple late that night where Caster's sobs had drawn Issei out of his slumber only to find the woman gone and Souichirou's body left behind. Issei had known that his adopted brother had a dark past, but thought it was best not to bring it out into the light for both of their sakes. He still mourned for the quiet and distant teacher's death, but he knew there were forces at work that he could not have any control of.

Mere days later the caverns under the Ryuudouji Temple collapsed with no obvious reason and there were a few eyewitness accounts that said that three people resembling Emiya Shirou, Tohsaka Rin, and Matou Sakura being led out of the cave by two foreign women and a tall man with white hair. Issei knew all too well that there were things beyond the cares of mortal men, supernatural forces that were spread across the world. He himself was well versed on how to perform exorcisms as well as the martial arts skills that had been passed along by the Ryuudouji monks for centuries.

Then there was the situation two months ago that still haunted his dreams when Archer had came to the temple asking for his assistance.

Issei didn't question the strangeness of the two women's names who had moved in with Emiya Shirou's. After all, they were both alien to Japan. From his understanding petite, blond Saber was Welsh and the frighteningly statuesque Rider hailed from an island outside of Greece. However Archer, who apparently was some relative of Issei's best friend, was very obviously Japanese despite his large size and height.

However Issei had clicked with the older man instantly, despite the fact he had some arrangement with that vixen, Tohsaka Rin. Issei knew not to ask questions about Archer or the forces around Fuyuki; it would be dangerous for himself and all those he cared about if he carried such a secret, but he couldn't leave Emiya alone and he found himself harboring similar feelings for Archer as well. He knew it wasn't wrong to feel such a thing, after all love knew no gender, but there was a twang deep within his chest as he watched Emiya hold Matou Sakura's hand or the two of them sneaking a quick kiss when they thought no one was looking.

And, after Archer had come into town it had became a safer place. The crime rate had dropped dramatically, the oppressive force in the air that had filled the air that February had died, and Issei knew that the white haired man with eyes like steel had something to do with it. So Issei did not question that night a few months ago when Archer had came to him splattered in blood asking for help. Nor did he ask any questions when he was led to the hospital where a man under Fujimura Raiga's employee was speaking in tongues as his eyes rolled back into his head and leaked blood from every visible orifice.

It had been the longest night of Issei's life and a constant source of insomnia for him, but he had done his duty and the right thing. More than that though, he had helped a man he had came to admire and considered a close friend. A man more than once had helped him with the repairs that Emiya had before he became more serious about his studies so he could attend law school. _A man whose smile mirrored Emiya's, _Issei thought with a shake of his head when something gold caught the light.

Issei's eyes widened as he saw the familiar, slight form of Saber, Emiya's Welsh housemate. She was moving rather quickly, her head held high and her eyes narrowed as she moved through the night. The white blouse and blond hair made it easy for Issei to watch her, but his eyes widened even more at the object she was carrying under her left arm.

It was long and wrapped with a dull, dank cloth, but part of the cloth had moved to reveal something glittering and golden. He stared at it; it was almost as long as she was tall and her small hands were shaking ever so slightly as she adjusted it. He opened his mouth to call to her, but the cry was silenced as she took a sharp turn. The monk ran to catch the young girl, wondering if Emiya knew that his charge was wandering alone this late at night.

He followed Saber to the bridge, and she was standing quietly at the rail as she watched the water. The gray waves beat lightly against the shore as unreadable eyes continued to watch it. Issei stopped as she unwrapped her burden, letting the dingy cloth fall to the ground revealing something impossibly radiant behind. He almost shielded his eyes from the glow of the sword and its sheath in her hands, the street lights bouncing off its gleaming, gilded surface. He recognized it as an European broadsword; Archer had more than a passing fancy for ancient weaponry and he had passed on some knowledge to Issei.

_What on Earth is Saber doing with a sword like that? _Issei thought as she held it up above her head. The weapon shone with its own glow that somehow was not touching the small blond beneath it. With a grunt the weapon was thrown towards the sloshing, murky waters of the river below. Issei's breath caught as the holy- he had no other words for something that glorious- weapon shimmered before being claimed by the river's depths.

Then he watched as Saber bowed her head, her hands clenching the rail so hard that he

could see the trembling whiteness of his knuckles from his distance. As he watched, he swore that the normally stoic blond was quietly crying. He yearned to go to her and ask why she had tossed such a glorious thing away.

An image of Souichirou's sharp features filled Issei's mind then it slowly shifted to Emiya's and then finally Archer's.

It was not his place to question Saber's actions, but there were times where one could take other avenues to interfere.

It was done.

Excalibur and Avalon were out of her hands and out of reach for the hands of others.

Saber had originally thought to lay the sword and sheath to rest in the lake at the Ryuudouji Temple. After all there had been something in it that had harmonized with her, made her calm and at peace for the first time in ages. Then further investigation proved that the lake was not deep enough to properly store the sword and its sheath. So the next logical choice was the river.

She felt heat spill down her face from her eyes, but she did not acknowledge the cursed tears. _I have wallowed in my own self pity for long enough, _she thought as she bent down to pick up the shroud she had used to wrap Excalibur and Avalon out of sight until she had completed her task. In this new age there was no need for knights or kings. The sword and the horse had been replaced with the gun and the car. Honor and chivalry had been overtaken by trickery and greed. Man of this age was vastly different from the men Saber had at her side in Camelot, as were the women.

No one balked at Rin traveling to London, in fact she was in charge of this city. Archer did not go to her side when the Mage's Association had placed her on trial for the events that had taken place during the Fifth War for the Holy Grail. Shirou and Sakura were equals, he studying to uphold his ideas not with a weapon but with books and facts while she had found a love of healing. Rider's name was whispered in fearful awe amongst shadier factions within the city as she proved her worth on a weekly basis on her motorcycle.

However, cryptic Archer had taken up arms to protect his mistress's lands and interests for her and to expand upon them. The white haired man infuriated Saber, for his verbal barbs and her envy about how easily he could find a place in this world while she muddled through. Shirou, Sakura, and Rin had been very kind, and Saber could understand Rider's distaste for her, but Archer left her bewildered and confused, which only added to her ire even more.

She shook herself and held her head up. She had fallen from grace. She was no longer a king and she would always carry her failures upon her shoulders. However she was not going to be a passive existence anymore by any means, even if she had to sell her body like some common whore she would make up the debt to Sakura, Shirou, and Rin.

"Would it be wrong of me to ask you to kill Luviagelita Edelfelt for me?"

Archer smirked as he adjusted the phone to rest easier between his shoulder and ear despite the crick that was developing in his neck. He replied, "I wouldn't harm a hair on Luvia's head."

"Why the hell didn't you warn me about her? I know you knew her," Rin's voice was shrill over the line and Archer laughed.

He replied, "I thought this would be more fun."

"When I get back there I'm kicking your ass," Rin said, and Archer could hear her teeth grinding over the phone line.

He grinned and said, "In my time you didn't have the financial cushion that you do now. I'd hate to see you lose that, Rin."

"Damn you, Shirou," Rin said before sighing.

He grimaced as he felt tiny twinges in his neck as he continued to hold the phone at the awkward angle while his hands were currently occupied with a socket wrench, a fuel tank and a difficult petroleum cock. Rider had brought her beloved Hayabusa to him when she had found it leaking gas after a race in Misaki where she had barely beat some redheaded punk with pierced ears. Since Emiya Shirou was currently hitting the books rather hard and Archer had a full garage to work with, Rider brought him her beloved bike, fretting over it like a mother over an injured child.

He put down his tools and held the phone properly and said, "I told you that you'd summoned the best possible Servant."

"So, how's my city?" Rin asked.

Archer shrugged and said, "Nothing remarkable happening. The most interesting thing I've done is repair a 2000 Hayabusa."

"You know with all your repairs and the like, I wonder why you don't get something of your own. You obviously like that sort of thing," Rin said.

Archer lifted up the petroleum cock and inspected it. He replied, "I just haven't found the right one yet, Rin."

"I mean, you're obviously making money, working with the mob, that repair business and everything. And thank you for that check you sent me last week. I really needed it," Rin said.

Archer said, "We did swear to take care of each other." Reinforced eyes saw a tiny crack in the part and he swore, "Stupid pet cock, how the hell did she crack this?"

"Did you just say pet cock?" Rin said, her voice catching on the last word.

Archer replied, "It's a bike part. Somehow Rider managed to crack it."

"Can you repair it?" Rin asked before she paused, "And I'm not surprised that Rider managed to crack a part with _that_ name."

He shook his head, chuckled slightly at Rin's attempt for innuendo, sighed, and said, "No, I'm going to have to put in an order for a new one. It's too delicate of a part and I don't want Rider turning me to stone because I half assed her precious bike. Luckily the bike shop's in walking distance."

"Well, that's good. Damn, I have to get to class," Rin said with a sigh.

Archer said, "You can call me later if you want."

"Thank you. I'd think I'd go crazy and kill Edelfelt if it wasn't for you," Rin said with a sigh.

Archer smiled and said, "Luvia's a sweet girl. She would have lost it if you hadn't arrived. Give it time, you two are going to be best friends."

"Well, I'll talk to you later tonight, Shirou," Rin said.

He found himself smiling as he said, "Looking forward to it, Rin." He hung up the phone, cleaned up, and collected the offensive part. Then he locked up his shop and headed out to order a part for a bike that was barely street legal. Since the bike was manufactured right before Europe and Japan had decided to put a cap on how fast a motorcycle could technically go it was the fastest production model ever made. Even after the cap other manufactures couldn't make a bike to top the Hayabusa, so Archer understood Rider's love for it. Even though he liked even older bikes that weren't made for just sheer racing.

As he walked, Archer reflected on the past year and a half. Rin had been true to her word to make sure that he would not squander his second chance and he had made a nice little niche for himself. He worked for Fujimura-dono as both a mechanic and an enforcer of sorts, opened his own shop, and acted as the Second Owner when Rin was away at the Clock Tower. He had friends, a life that he made sure to keep away from Emiya Shirou and Matou Sakura, and a purpose.

He protected those he cared about first and foremost and helped others when he could.

All and all, he was mostly happy with his situation.

However there was a specter haunting him, a tiny ghost with fair hair and eyes like emeralds. Saber seemed to merely exist in her new life. She was quiet when everyone got together and only spoke if she was spoken to. Her green eyes were dull and lacked the fire he remembered. Sakura, Emiya Shirou, and Rin were trying to keep her happy, but all they seemed to do was cook for her because all they knew of Saber was that she enjoyed food an absurd amount.

_She feels useless, not to mention bearing God knows what on her shoulders after being corrupted, _Archer thought. From what he knew of Saber she was just bottling all of these feelings even tighter and deeper until he knew they would explode. _Then I might have something worse than Altered Saber on my hands._

Soon he had ordered the part and made his way back to his shop. He blinked as he saw a familiar but welcome form standing on his door step. Issei without his indigo hair was a shock even now, but he seemed happy with his choice and Archer was glad that his friend was such a skilled exorcist. _Made what happened to Izuna_ _a lot easier to deal with than just killing him, _Archer thought.

Issei straightened to his full height and adjusted his glasses with his forefinger. Archer waved and said, "If you wanted to see me, you could have called."

"Ah, well, I didn't think of that," Issei said with a laugh as a faint flush colored his cheeks.

Archer asked, "How long have you been standing out there. This heat's awful." He reached into his jeans pockets and drew out his keys to unlock the shop.

Issei cleared his throat and said, "Not long, Archer-san. I was hoping to talk to you. I saw something unusual before dawn this morning."

"Damn it, Issei, you could have told me you were still having insomnia. I could have helped," Archer said with a sigh and a shake of his head.

Issei said, "Maybe it was Will that had me unable to sleep last night. I saw Saber and she was acting unusual."

"Is she okay?" Archer asked, his chest tightening as ice flowed in his normally roaring veins.

Issei bowed his head and said, "She . . . threw away something that I believe should not have been thrown away."

"We'll talk more inside," Archer said in a low voice as he opened the door to lead his friend inside.

**Author's Notes: **Interesting note, the Hayabusa is still the fastest production bike ever made. Also, not only are they fast, they're also a very well put together motorcycle. And Hayabusa means "Peregrine Falcon" if anyone's interested, named after the fasted animal on the planet and also a play on words because before the Hayabusa was released the fastest bike on the market was the Blackbird. And Peregrine Falcons pray on Blackbirds.


	7. Chapter 6: Akin to Apathy

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Chapter Six**

**Akin to Apathy **

Issei sighed as he was greeted with a blast of icy air as soon as Archer led him into his shop. He'd been here many times since it had opened for a variety of things from repairs for the temple to just to have lunch with a friend. One thing was remarkably the same, no matter what time of the year it was it seemed to be rather frigid in the building. Then again Archer had an apartment on top of the shop because he did own the building.

He often had wondered about Archer's living quarters as the taller man opened the door leading upstairs. Heat washed over the monk that had nothing to do with the raging inferno outside as Archer gestured for Issei to follow. His heart was racing like a drum and he felt oddly light as he followed Archer to his home.

He swallowed and said, "We could have easily talked down stairs, Archer."

"I don't have any tea ready to take downstairs and I know you're burning up after walking here from the temple," the white haired man said with a smile as he lead Issei to a large kitchen filled with stainless steel appliances.

Issei swallowed as he stood in the immaculate kitchen as Archer began to prepare tea. Heat filled the monk's face as he watched the painstakingly careful steps that the older man used to prepare the tea. He had no idea how old Archer was, physically he looked anywhere to his mid twenties to early thirties, or where the other man had come from other that he had some sort of tie to that fox, Tohsaka Rin. However, Issei got the feeling the less he knew about his mysterious friend the better off he would be.

_Besides, there's just something about the mystery . . . _Issei shrugged off that train of thought as he studied the pristine kitchen and its rather familiar layout. Eyes widened as one finger pushed up glasses just to see that Issei wasn't imagining things. _The layout . . . it's just like Emiya's kitchen. From the placement of the utensils, appliances, and food stuffs it is almost a mirror image of Emiya's kitchen. _

Of course that train of thinking lead Issei to think, _Does he cook as well as Emiya does? _

As the teakettle was set to start boiling, Archer looked over at Issei and asked, "Are you hungry? I haven't had a chance to grab lunch yet."

"I don't want to be a bother," Issei said with a smile and a wave of his hand.

There was something eerily familiar about the smile on Archer's face as he said, "Trust me, it's no bother Issei. Besides, I still owe you one after that exorcism."

"Yes, well the less we talk about that the better," Issei said with a laugh as he felt like his cheeks were on fire.

Archer's smile became lopsided before he said, "I'll agree to that. I can make the tea iced if you want. I've got several types I can make."

"Do you have barley tea?" Issei asked as he looked up at the taller man with wide eyes.

Archer nodded and said, "Yes I do. I also have several forms of Western tea, green, Oolong, white, and Liver Disaster."

"Liver Disaster?" Issei asked with a chuckle and a shake of his head.

Archer's roguish grin widened and he asked, "Are you feeling adventurous today, Issei? Want to try some Liver Disaster?"

"I think I'd like to keep my liver from being disastrous, Archer," Issei replied as he felt his stomach clinch at that grin, but he chuckled, "Why do you have a tea called Liver Disaster?"

Archer's broad shoulders shrugged while he answered, "I saw it and had to get it for the name alone. I might brew some for Rin when she's visiting from London."

Ice coiled up in Issei's stomach at the mention of _that_ name. He replied in a stiff voice, "Well yes."

Archer's eyes widened before he said, "Well, we'll leave the Liver Disaster for another time and I'll just go with some barley tea. What about lunch? There's pretty much nothing I can't cook."

"You're . . . an amazing cook," Issei said as he dug into the simple meal that Archer had prepared.

Archer shrugged and said, "It's a talent born of necessity. I use to live with some real slackers, but thank you."

"The barley tea is excellent too," Issei said as he sipped at the deep amber liquid.

Archer gathered his portions and sat across from his friend. He smiled and said, "Well, maybe next time we can be brave and try the Liver Disaster."

"I think you should save that drink for Tohsaka," Issei said with a marked frown before eating again.

Archer chuckled before eating some well cooked rice. He tilted his head and said, "So, what did Saber throw away?" He'd become quite the master of hiding his emotions, teasing and playing with his friend while cooking to lighten the mood. However ice was still coiled in his veins as he waited for his indigo eyed friend to take a drink and meet Archer's eyes.

"It . . . was beautiful. It looked like something holy and sacred," Issei said in a soft voice before shaking his head.

_No. _ Out loud, Archer asked, "What was it?"

Issei delicately wiped his mouth with one of Archer's cloth napkins and said, "I doubt you'd believe me if I told you."

"I had you help me exorcize a member of the _yakuza_. Try me," Archer said with a sardonic grin. _Not to mention I've come back from the dead, been freed of my duties as a Counter Guardian, even though there's still EMIYA hating his existence in the Throne. Then there's the fact my body is made out of swords, I've fought against demi-gods, and I can create a whole world of my own making. There's little that I wouldn't believe Issei. I just hope you're not going to tell me what I'm afraid you're going to tell me._

Issei sighed, laid his napkin down and said, "She threw away a European Broadsword encased in this sheath . . . This beautiful, golden sheath that seemed to shine with its own light. The sword and sheath were pure, sacred things Archer. They may not be from my Faith, but I do know something Holy when I lay my eyes upon it."

"Where did she throw them?" Archer said as he mentally cursed himself and Saber.

Issei answered, "The river. She seemed so sad when she did it."

"That idiot," Archer said in a sharp voice and Issei flinched, looking at him with wide, blinking eyes from his glasses.

Archer shook his head and said, "That damned, stupid idiot. I can't believe she did something so . . ." _Of course I can. Because she doesn't feel like she is worthy to wield her sword anymore. She believes she failed her people, that she failed her Master, and that she cannot wield Excalibur's holy light anymore because of it. So she's hoping that someone worthy will pick up the blade again._

_ Damn it, Saber._

Issei swallowed and said, "I think she needs help."

"Well that's a damned understatement," Archer muttered with a shake of his head.

The monk sighed and said, "And I don't think Emiya and Matou-kun are able to help her."

"Rider's probably not the greatest help either," Archer said with a sigh. It wasn't any great secret that there was no love lost between the Gorgon and the King. Saber just had the sort of temperament to keep herself from falling prey to Rider's occasional barbs. Despite everything, Saber was still proud. It had been hardwired into her since birth and wouldn't let anyone see her falter like this.

". . . That woman disturbs me," Issei said with a small shudder.

Archer smiled and said, "If Rin's a fox, treat Rider as a snake."

"But you seem to get along well enough with Rider," Issei said with a tilt of his head.

Archer replied, "We have an arrangement and we enjoy the verbal sparring." _Not to mention the huge amount of sexual tension._

"Well you two do seem to have compatible personalities," Issei said with a tilt of his head.

Archer replied, "Difficult?"

"Well, yes, and a bit rough," Issei said before clearing his throat and looking up at Archer, "However, Saber seems so agreeable, but to do what she's done . . ."

"Everyone has masks, Issei," Archer said with a sigh as his shoulders dropped.

Issei said, "I didn't mean to burden you, but if there is anyone who can help her, I think it would be you. I won't ask what you've been through, and I doubt I could take that information, but maybe it grants you understanding and enlightenment that others can't comprehend."

"Or just makes you a raging, bitter asshole," Archer replied with a crooked smirk.

Issei smiled and said, "Well, that too, but I doubt you're as much of an asshole as you think you are."

"I don't think you'd want to press that theory," Archer said in a dry voice as he remembered records he'd read where he'd done things that should have left him screaming in a padded room.

Issei said, "An evil man would not repair things for a school or a temple for no charge. An evil man would not have risked himself to save one mobster. An evil man could not cook so well."

"I didn't say I was evil, just apathetic," Archer said as Issei stood up from his finished meal.

Issei's indigo eyes met his and he said, "Aren't they one and the same? And if you were as apathetic as you'd like to believe, you'd do none of the things I just blatantly pointed out to you."

"Sakura, oh god, _Sakura_!"

Saber bit her lip as she drew her comforter over her head despite the sweltering heat. Clothing was sticking to damp skin and her hair felt heavy on the back of her neck. It had already grown longer than it had in life, now brushing against her shoulder blades instead of her shoulders. She still painstakingly twisted it into her bun every day because that was what was expected of her even though wearing it as a tail would have been much easier and comfortable.

"Sempai, Sempai, harder!"

A groan escaped Saber's lips as she heard the impassioned lovers' cries from down the hall. Shirou and Sakura were very enthusiastic with each other in their lovemaking and did nothing to halt their declarations of such. Saber closed her eyes as the names shifted to two more familiar ones to her.

Guinevere.

Lancelot.

Her Queen and most trusted Knight who had betrayed her. She did not begrudge them their love, and she wished she could have let them continue to experience it for the rest of their lives. However the demands of a kingdom and the honor of its king had other designs. Catching Guinevere and Lancelot in their embrace did not make Saber feel betrayed, if anything she was envious and understood.

While Saber had completely thrown away her gender, Guinevere had to deny herself the pleasures of a woman because she did not marry a man, but a King. A genderless king who had killed the female part of herself as soon as she pulled the sword from the stone. It made sense that Guinevere would be drawn to Lancelot, a knight who was utter perfection, and Lancelot to Guinevere who was feminine, beautiful, strong and everything one could want as their Queen.

When she had found them lying together she did not feel betrayed, but filled with sad understanding and a bit of jealousy.

Saber could not indulge in anything of that manner, could not let her passions and feelings lead her to any sense of fulfillment. She had to cast away her emotions and dawn her armor of reason to be the perfect king. _And look where that had gotten me, _she thought as Sakura and Shirou's enthusiastic cries echoed around her.

_Alone in a time where I do not belong to people I owe so much for. _

As the lovers continued their latest tryst down the hall, Saber quietly crept out of bed. It was stiflingly hot in the Emiya household this night, and she felt herself unable to rest. So Saber found herself outside to look up at the cloudless sky and the hundreds of stars strewn across the sky like diamonds on so much midnight blue velvet. The crescent moon cast shadows over the courtyard, perfect places for faeries to hide and play.

She reached out with her small hand to the moon. The illusion was her hand grasping the moon, but she knew all too well how out of reach it was. _Everything is out of reach for me now, _Saber thought as she lowered her hand.

There was a slight rustle and soft footsteps on the wooden porch and Saber spun to see the person who intruded upon her solitude. Rider was standing there in a black tank top and purple boxers, her long hair pulled into a braid. Moonlight glinted slightly on the glasses that Rin had crafted for her as she approached Saber. Saber felt her body tense, the urge to fight strong despite her giving Excalibur and Avalon up in the hopes that they would find a proper wielder again someday.

"They're being eager tonight, aren't they?" Rider asked as she leaned against the porch's railing.

Saber felt heat fill her cheeks as she said, "I believe that Shirou and Sakura are always eager in that regard."

"Good, they both deserve it," Rider said with a nod as she adjusted her glasses over her queer eyes.

Saber asked, "Why did you approach me, Rider?"

"What are you doing here, Saber?" was Rider's reply as she folded her arms under her ample breasts. _That woman's body is made for sin, _Saber thought with a frown as she took in the Servant's ample curves and long, sculpted legs as well as the definition in her arms and around her neck.

Saber answered, "I came out here because I could not sleep. It is rather hot inside."

"I figured that, but what are you doing _here_, Saber?" Rider asked with a slight smile and a shake of her head.

Saber frowned and said, "I am afraid I do not understand the wording of your question, Rider."

"Shirou's studying to become a lawyer, Sakura is toying with the idea of becoming a nurse, Rin is in London studying her magecraft, Archer . . . well I doubt he ever has a minute to himself with all of the duties he has taken upon himself, and I work at the library as well as race," Rider said, "But you do nothing Saber. You sit quietly and eat the food that others give you and wear the clothing that others bring you."

Saber swallowed and replied, "I am grateful for the kindness that Rin and the others have given me, Rider."

"Are you aware how much you eat? I swear, you eat more than Sakura and Shirou combined," Rider said with a shake of her head, "And what do you do in return?"

Saber straightened to her full height and clinched her fists at her sides. Her eyes narrowed at Rider and she said, "I will repay them for their kindness to me, Rider. I will not allow this debt to Sakura, Shirou, and Rin go unpaid."

"And how are you going to do that?" Rider asked as her smile spread, displaying elongated canines.

Saber met Rider's eyes and replied, "Any way that I can, that you have my word."


	8. Chapter 7: Servitude in Secret

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Chapter Seven**

**Servitude in Secret**

Saber felt heat that had nothing to do with the oppressing air outside fill her cheeks. Small hands shook as they reached down to press the scandalously short skirt down more against her legs. Her eyes widened when the stiff petticoat only pressed down a moment before fluffing the thick, almost shimmering black fabric out to display one's flesh all over again. She swallowed and asked, "Are you sure this is the correct size? I know I am small in stature, but . . ."

The eyes that met hers were a rather boring shade of brown and a frown marred a moderately pretty face. "Yes Saber, that's the right size," came the exasperated reply.

Saber swallowed as she looked at her supervisor, Hirano Asuka. The woman was in her early twenties and built rather like Sakura, but unlike Saber's former Master Asuka had no qualms about flaunting her abundance of curves. The corset the woman wore with her uniform only cinched in her waist to make her breasts just that much more apparent until they were almost overflowing from the froth of white lace adorning the bodice. Other girls from ages varying from high school to early twenties wore almost identical uniforms to Asuka and Saber.

Uniforms that consisted of shamefully short black dresses adorned with white lace along the collars, sleeves and skirt, black stockings ranging from knee high to thigh high, and white aprons. Saber resisted the urge to pull on the white lace choker around her throat that was currently scraping against the delicate skin there as she fussed with the skirt again. Asuka placed her hands on her hips and said, "You know what you were getting into when you applied for this job. Don't look so shocked."

"I think you look cute, Saber-chan," a bouncy voice said behind Saber.

Saber's eyes widened as she saw one of her new coworkers standing beside her, a girl taller than Asuka but sporting a slender, more athletic build with legs that seemed to go on forever under the maid's uniform. She had close cropped hair so black that it appeared to have blue highlights, a lovely face and large pale blue eyes framed by wire rimmed glasses. She was wearing a friendly smile at Saber as she bowed ever so slightly.

"I'm Kurosaua Hitomi, it's a pleasure to meet you," the young woman said with a smile as she moved over to the mirror in the dressing room.

Saber bowed and followed her. She replied, "Thank you, Hitomi, it is a pleasure to meet you too."

"God, that accent is amazing, where are you from, if you don't mind me asking?" Hitomi asked as she moved so Saber could see her reflection in the mirror.

Saber felt her cheeks heat up as the girl with blond hair and emerald eyes stared back at her. Her voice felt distant to her as she answered, "Wales." The urge to reach up and touch the reflection was overwhelming, as was the shock to see the girl staring back at her.

The petite blond standing there had large green eyes that dominated most of her face and looked slim and fragile. She was obviously no one that should have never picked up a sword or even tried to lead a country. Her blond hair was tied up into a high pony tail that spilled down her neck and was tied by a bouncy black ribbon that contrasted with fair tresses. Her body was on display shamelessly for everyone to see and was dressed in a way to accent what little slight curves she did have.

Hitomi gave a low whistle and asked, "So, what brings you to Japan?"

"A mistake on my part," Saber said before taking a deep breath and looking up at the puzzled look on the other young woman's face. Saber forced a smile and said, "I hope you can help me. I have never done anything like this before."

"Well, with how cute you are, I'm sure you'll do fine," Hitomi said as she adjusted her glasses with a smile.

Archer was walking back from the parts store with the new petcock for Rider's Hayabusa in his hand. The sun was mercilessly beating down, the heat almost unbearable even for him and his ungodly tolerance to pretty much everything. _Then again, when you're a living forge you're constantly hot, _Archer thought as he rubbed the back of his hand against his brow. He could even feel the spikes he normally haphazardly forced his prematurely white hair into wilt and start to stick to his forehead.

Scowling, he shoved his hand through his hair and tousled the damp strands so they weren't sticking against his forehead and more importantly made him look less like Emiya Shirou. He was sure that Issei was picking up the resemblances to Archer and his best friend despite how much Archer wanted to distance himself from his past self for both of their sakes. However he couldn't quite distance himself physically away because Sakura, Rider, and Rin were close to the idiot.

Then there was the complicated matter of Saber that was like a ticking time bomb that could explode at any moment.

He sighed as the air conditioned haven of his shop and apartment drew closer and closer with each step. Sitting on the stoop was an all too familiar figure with her long, lavender hair spilling onto the pavement behind her only to coil in a silken pool. Rider used her index finger as she smilingly pressed her glasses more firmly up on her nose before she rose to her feet. The motion in itself was quite intriguing and brought attention to sleek muscles and supple curves.

Then again, Rider had an unnatural grace and sensuality that was dangerously distracting, even to Archer now. He'd faced her in battle and nearly lost, and he wasn't sure if the outcome would be much different if he hadn't been injured at the time. Out of all of the Servants, she was the one he wanted to fight the least for one simple reason that he shared with her.

Rider had no pride or honor in combat. She fought to win, she thought things through and if she needed to do something devious to ensure her victory she would without hesitation. Lancer and Saber had strict codes that they followed in combat, codes that Archer could manipulate against the two stronger and more powerful warriors. Gilgamesh's arrogance and stupidity was a good handicap to use against the King of Heroes and Caster had her own weaknesses that Archer would not have balked to exploit. Rider didn't, which made her dangerous, and gave the two veterans an odd sort of bond.

Archer also reasoned that he helped Rider keep her bike in peak working order helped as well.

He waved as he approached and she smiled at him. Despite the heat she was still wearing her trademark black, but this was a simple tank top and modest knee length khaki shorts. Those queerly gorgeous eyes met his and he said, "I've got the part for your bike right here, Rider."

"Thank you Archer. What would I do without you?" she said with a smile as he handed her the brown paper bag.

He gave her a lopsided smile as he dug his keys from his pocket and said, "Possibly have to pay for your repairs."

"And get ogled in the process," Rider said with a frown as she folded her arms under her ample breasts.

Had it been almost any other woman, Archer would have teased her about her stunning looks. However from what little he knew of her checkered past and how she generally dressed in modest clothing stayed his tongue. Instead he said, "And some idiot might get turned to stone and then I'd have to explain that to Rin which I really wouldn't want to do."

Rider smiled and said, "Or I could gouge their eyes out."

"You'd enjoy that too much," he replied as he unlocked the door. He opened it for her and she stepped inside, her hair swaying behind her as she did. He stepped in after her and closed the door to let the blessed air conditioning stay in. The two of them walked into the public part of the shop and then to the back where actual repairs were done.

Archer's work room was nowhere equipped to deal with cars and the like, for that he would use Fujimura-dono's garage with free permission, but Rider's Hayabusa was special. He realized he was becoming somewhat of a gear head and he himself had fallen for the Peregrine Falcon. He was debating about restoring some old bike for himself to ride around instead of walking or leaping everywhere when it became dark.

He said, "You can sit down, this part won't take long."

"I still can't believe that punk almost beat me," Rider said with a huff as she perched on one of the stools in the workshop.

Archer walked over to the sleek black bike and replied, "I can't believe you had the guts to go to Misaki just for a street race."

"All I did was race. You know I'm discreet about taking blood," Rider said with a small smile and a slight blush on her lips.

Archer shook his head and said, "You're lucky Sakura and the idiot don't know what you're doing."

"You know, but yet you do nothing," Rider replied with a tilt of her head as she watched him get out his toolbox.

He shrugged and said, "You're not harming anyone. I've gotten to the point where it's not worth acting unless you're actively harming or upsetting anyone."

"You're a very curious man," she said as her smile widened as he removed the fuel tank to replace the rogue part. He started to unscrew some bolts and carefully put them aside.

He asked, "How so?"

"Well, honestly I dislike most men," Rider said with a shrug, "I don't dislike you."

Archer gritted his teeth as he removed the old petcock and set it aside. He replied, "Well, I treat you like a person. A very dangerous person who could kick my ass, but . . . I guess I don't ogle you, like you said earlier."

"You're more discreet about it," Rider said with a flash of white teeth as her square-pupil eyes flashed with a heavy heat that had nothing to do with the outside air.

He swallowed as he felt the intensity of that stare and despite her protective glasses, he felt himself responding to that stare. He almost dropped the fuel tank as she continued to smile at him. Rider pulled the part out of the bag and handed it to him. "If I didn't admire you, it would mean I'm not a flesh and blood man again," Archer said in low voice as he took the part from her.

Rider asked, "Then why haven't you taken a lover?"

His hands stopped in the middle of screwing on the new part and he blinked at the Gorgon. Her eyes were watching him and he felt the urge to ask if she was inviting him. Instead he answered, "I've had other things to worry about than sex, Rider."

He screwed the part on and then put the fuel tank back on. The sharp, almost sweet smell of gas was thick in the air as Archer checked his work. He narrowed his eyes and whispered, "Trace On."

_Analysis begin. Check status. Look for flaws in the general matrix. Analyzing. _

Archer grabbed the key, inserted it and started the engine. The bike roared to life and he gave it some gas before nodding in appreciation. With a subtle twist of the wrist the engine was turned off and the key passed back to its rightful owner. Rider smiled and said, "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm quite fond of this bike myself," he said as he petted the sleek black body.

Rider smiled and said, "Maybe you should get one."

"Honestly, I've been thinking about it. I doubt I'd go with something as powerful as a Hayabusa, but a V-Max or a V-Rod could work. I'd want more of a touring bike than a racing bike," Archer replied.

Rider said, "You're more interested in the long haul."

Heat filled his cheeks as he cleared his throat and looked away from the sensual creature before him. "I like things to last," he replied before inwardly flinching at his choice of words.

Rider chuckled, which did utterly fascinating things to her face and anatomy, and said, "You really where the boy."

"Yes yes, I'm sure even Saber knows who I was by now," Archer said with a shake of his head and a lopsided grin.

Rider's lovely face was marred with a scowl as she said, "I doubt it. All she does is sit around the house, eat, and play video games. She does nothing to help, and Shirou and Sakura bend over backwards to make sure she's content."

"This has been bothering you for a while," Archer said as he sat on the stool beside Rider.

She sighed and said, "Yes. She annoys me."

"Well, your personalities aren't that compatible," Archer said with a slight smile.

Rider did smile at that and said, "Well, you are right there, but . . . she's like some dark cloud of Sakura and Shirou."

"She's miserable," Archer said with a shake of her head, "Think about it. She's been pulled out of death to a life she didn't really want to live in a land and time that's nothing like she's use to."

Rider scowled and said, "But she's not _trying_. She mopes like some spoiled brat listening to that melancholy music created by people who know nothing of true suffering."

Archer reached out and patted the woman's shoulder and said, "Rider, everyone hurts and everyone has their crosses to bare. Just some people handle it differently than others."

"Did things go drastically different in the War you fight when you were alive?" Rider asked.

He nodded and answered, "It did."

"How so?" Rider asked.

Archer met her gaze and said, "Because I failed her and betrayed her trust."

"This Saber is not your Saber. You aren't beholden to her," Rider said in a soft voice with a shake of her head.

His chest tightened at the vulnerable expression on Rider's face and wondered if she was jealous of Saber. Saber was shining, golden, and pure while Rider had obviously been used and abused as well as forced to turn into a monster. Archer replied, "I'm afraid what she'd do if she's not helped."

"Even now you're going to try to save her," Rider said with a sigh.

Archer snorted and said, "Apparently I'm still that idiot punk trying to save everyone."

The labor was more than was initially expected, but it made the task somewhat easier to bare. Saber smiled as she scurried to and fro bringing food and drinks for customers to earn what were called tips. Sweat was making the heavy fabric of the uniform stick to her skin, but she did not mind that. The trays that she used to do her work were often heavily laden, which meant she would build up muscles after doing this work for a while.

However the food there was quite mediocre and she had a feeling that most of the patrons, mostly male, came for the scenery and not the fare offered. As Saber changed into her street clothing she wondered if she should start bringing a bento when she had to work because the food was not worth the price paid for it. _Then again I wonder if I have been getting spoiled by Archer, Rin, Sakura, and Shirou's cooking, _she mused as she carefully tucked her uniform under her arm to carry it home. She'd need to launder it before she worked again tomorrow, and sadly Hitomi would not be there to guide her.

She hated the fact that she had to rely on yet someone else to muddle through this existence, but she was thankful in having a mentor like Hitomi. The girl was surprisingly open despite being Japanese and seemed to have a good heart. She had taught Saber quite a lot from how to take orders, enter them at the computer, and to take care of customers. Because of Hitomi's guidance, Saber's pocket was lined with quite a bit of cash.

Cash she was planning on giving a good deal of to Shirou and Sakura to help with food and the added expenses that Saber gave them. It wasn't much to help, but it was a good start. Not to mention the work gave her something else to focus on than her failures.

Before she realized it, she had reached the Emiya home and frowned when she saw Rider's motorcycle parked there. She inwardly cursed as she realized today was one of Rider's days off at the library, the Servant's cover day job. It was a well known secret that Rider's main source of income came in the form of illegal street races on said motorcycle. Saber stared at the gorgeous piece of machinery and admired its sleek, black, white and silver lines.

She had ridden a motorcycle before in the Fourth War and if circumstances would have been different she would have loved the experience. It was rather freeing to go so fast with the wind whipping around and having to keep total control to prevent accident. Saber had enjoyed riding in life, but the speed granted on horseback could not compare to the breakneck pace that something motorized could offer. She wistfully stared at the bike before heading into the house, making sure to take off her shoes before doing so.

Taking special care to shut the door quietly behind her, Saber soundlessly went to the washing machine to take care of her uniform. The white machines looked foreboding in their wooden cabinet with their knobs offering various speeds, temperatures, times, and settings. All of which Saber had no idea what they all meant. Small teeth worried her bottom lip as she tried to make sense of the settings.

"Well, where have you been all day?" an all too familiar voice said behind Saber.

Saber did not look up from the washing machine and answered, "At my new place of employment."

"Your hair looks . . . cute like that," Rider said and Saber swept her hair back in horror to find the high pony tail still there secured by its bouncy black ribbon. Heat swept over her cheeks as she spun around to face the grinning Servant. Automatically the scandalous uniform was hidden behind the blond's back as she faced the statuesque woman.

Saber swallowed and said, "Thank you Rider. They found my normal style of hair a bit too off putting."

"So, what are you hiding behind your back while standing in front of the washing machine in utter confusion?" Rider asked with a smile as she tried to peer behind the other girl's back.

Saber answered, "My uniform, which I am going to wash."

"May I see it?" Rider asked as her smile widened.

Saber shook her head and said, "No. I have no desire for you to see it and you have no need to know of its appearance. I would thank you if you would leave me alone to my duty."

Rider's smile turned absolutely wicked as she said, "Of course. If you need any help, feel free to call for me."

More heat poured into Saber's cheeks as she said, "I'm sure I can handle this on my own, but thank you for your concern."

With a chuckle, Rider turned to leave Saber alone. The tension left the former Servant's body before she brought her uniform from behind her back. _This is honest work I am doing. I should not care what Rider thinks, or what anyone else thinks for that matter, _she thought before holding her head high and checking the uniform's collar for a tag as she'd seen Sakura do with new clothing before.


	9. Chapter 8: Prospects and Potential

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Chapter Eight**

**Prospects and Potential**

"And today in the Stock Market new company Golden Rule continues its incredible momentum, rising up in the DOW another twenty-seven points today," the soothing, female voice said from the TV.

Saber was tying her ribbon in her hair as she barely acknowledged the painted reporter's words. Small hands smoothed over the pristine white apron before Saber took one more check of her uniform. A low whistle sounded from beside her and she looked up to see Hitomi standing there watching the TV. Saber tilted her head and asked, "Is something interesting?"

"I put in an application to their Fuyuki Headquarters yesterday, I'm hoping I get called for an interview," the other girl said with a smile.

Saber returned the smile and said, "I wish you the best of luck in that endeavor, Hitomi."

"Thanks Saber-chan. I mean, this place helps pay for college tuition but has nothing to do with my intended field of study," the bespectacled girl said as she ruffled up her bangs with a wistful smile.

Saber studied her co-worker and asked, "What is your area of study, Hitomi? If you do not mind me being so bold. If it is none of my business, please inform me and I'll happily drop the subject."

"See, and here I thought all Westerners were all brash and forward, but you're so formal Saber, I'd swear you'd work for my mom," Hitomi said with a smile.

Saber returned her smile and replied, "I had to learn diplomacy a long time ago. I find it fitting to carry myself here as I had in my previous life to a reasonable extent."

"I'd swear you'd come for another time," Hitomi said with a chuckle, "But I'm wanting to do research. Unfortunately, it's a lot of studying just to get my MD not to mention my PHD in pharmacology."

Saber asked, "So you are wanting to do medical research then?"

"Yep. I've got this morbid fascination for viruses and my aunt often volunteers in Darfur where AIDS runs rapid. Apparently the CEO is striving his medical research division to find a cure for it," Hitomi said, "Then again Golden Rule has their fingers in so many pies it's sort of amazing."

At that moment the door to the break room opened and Asuka walked in, her skin slick with perspiration. She cast Saber a relived glance and said, "Thank God you're here, Saber-chan. It's been a mad house today."

"I will be out there to deliver aid in a moment, unless you need my assistance before my shift starts and I will be happy to aid you," Saber said with a slight bow of her head to the head waitress.

Asuka shook her head and said, "We've got a second, I've got Shizuka and Anzu out there too. You don't need to come on before your shift starts, Saber-chan."

Saber nodded and said, "But do not hesitate to call me if you do need my aid."

"And that attitude is why you're my best waitress, well the exotic Western looks don't hurt either," Asuka said with a grin before looking up at the TV. She sighed and said, "They're talking about Golden Rule again aren't they? God, I'd pay to sleep with that CEO. Have you seen him, he's like utterly gorgeous."

"You do not find it odd that a Westerner decided to set up such an elaborate corporation on Japanese soil?" Saber asked as she looked at the TV as well.

Asuka grinned and said, "When it's someone as hot as Gil King doing it they could invade my home and rob me blind and I wouldn't care."

"Well, Mr. King does seem to be a bit eccentric from what I've read of the company. Considers the world his and all of that, but then again most brilliant men do tend to be a bit around the bend," Hitomi said as she rotated her index finger around her temple with a lopsided grin.

It felt as if someone had trailed ice up and down Saber's spine, but she shook the feeling off. _It's impossible, _she firmly told herself before walking over to clock herself in.

Emiya Shirou was currently sitting in his shed, a fine layer of sweat covering his body as he had his eyes closed. Sakura and Saber were currently asleep, and he knew the former would scold him if she knew what he was doing. _Hence me doing this while she's asleep, _he thought as he took a deep, calming breath.

His ideal had been changed, reforged during the fires of the Fifth Grail War. He no longer sought to save everyone, but he would protect and save those he loved first. Still he could not just sit idly by and do nothing to help anyone while he himself was happy with the life he was making with Sakura. Studying law would give him tools to help others, but he was not going to be defenseless if he was called again to protect his loved ones.

Shirou had the tools in his mind and body and proof that he was capable of pulling off miracles.

_"You keep up with me."_

He had been losing his mind when he had heard that low, rusty voice demand that of him as he removed the Shroud of Martin to defeat the corrupted Berserker. That man had been the pinnacle of what Shirou himself had wanted to become, and he had broken himself past repair to get to that state. Counter Guardian _Emiya_ had given Shirou the tools to save Sakura and Ilya at the cost of his own mind and sanity, and he had been given life again at the cost of Ilya.

Pain washed over him in tiny, stinging waves as an image of a sad smile framed by hair like freshly fallen snow filled his mind. _Ilya._ From what Archer had told him, Ilya was happy to sacrifice herself so that both her present and future _onii-chans_ could live. _I should have been able to say good bye. To stop her. Anything, _he thought before shaking his head.

_I can't think like that, it's just going to screw up my concentration, _he amended before taking a deep breath. His eyes closed as he opened his Circuits. Prana sluggishly flowed through them as dissected those beloved swords in his mind's eye. They were broken down into eight component parts before reformed and pushed into reality by snapping into his hands.

Weakness washed over him as his stomach churned, but he opened his eyes to see Kansho and Bakuya gleaming in his hands in their ying and yang harmony. He felt a smile curve his lip as he stood on trembling legs while his hands gripped the handles of the swords. Tracing was coming easier and easier to him despite Tohsaka being away in London and not able to train him.

"Not bad, for an amateur," that all too familiar voice said behind Shirou.

The young man spun around to see Archer standing in the shed's doorway with his arms folded across his chest and a slight smirk on his face. Shirou blinked as he realized he really didn't have to look as far up as he used to just to meet Archer's eyes. Then again this growth spurt he'd been going through the past year had been rather amazing if expensive because he was going through clothing and shoes at a phenomenal rate.

Shirou flexed his hands and released the prana that formed the swords, causing them to vanish in a shimmer of golden flakes. He rolled his shoulders, almost as broad as Archer's, and asked, "Couldn't you knock?"

"And resist a chance to taunt you, of course not," Archer said as he stepped into the shed, "Besides, wouldn't Sakura have your head if she found out you were doing this?"

Shirou smiled sheepishly, rubbed the back of his head and said, "Well, that's why I'm doing it while she's asleep."

"And if Rider catches you, you're screwed," Archer said with a tiny smile.

Shirou felt the blood run from his face at the former Servant's words and swallowed. "Don't give me such thoughts," he said with a frown and a shake of his head.

Archer's smile faded as he replied, "And if Saber caught you . . ."

"She'd quietly walk back in the house," Shirou said as he rubbed the back of his head.

Archer's eyes met his and he asked, "How is she?"

"Well, she's actually been getting out of the house of late. Apparently she's found some job, but when we ask her what she's doing she will just politely smile and tell us its none of our concern," Shirou said with a sigh.

Shirou reasoned if he'd been anyone else he wouldn't have noticed the sudden tension that filled the other man's body and the subtle flexing of his hands. Then again, Shirou and Archer had the same origin, but diverted different paths. They had been the same one point in time, but apparently they were radically different enough now that they could coexist for the most part. However there were flashes between the two of them, not quite like telepathy, but Shirou knew that Archer was concerned for their former Servant.

Archer asked, "Did you give her back Avalon?"

"Yes I did. I figured it wasn't mine to have and should go back to its original owner," Shirou said with a frown as the memory of Saber reluctantly taking the sheath back filled his mind.

"Hn," was Archer's not quite non verbal reply.

Shirou sighed and said, "Sakura and I don't know what to do with her. She doesn't talk and when you ask her anything it's always this frustratingly polite answer before she walls herself up. The only time she's really lively is when Fuji-nee comes over to play or when she's playing video games."

"Or when there's food involved," Archer said with a sigh.

Shirou sighed himself, nodded and echoed, "Or only when there's food involved." He ran a hand through his hair and said, "She seemed to get along well with Tohsaka, but now Tohsaka's gone . . ."

"And Rider's probably not helping the situation either," Archer said with a snort.

Shirou felt his cheeks heat up and he replied, "Well, Rider thinks she's a burden on Sakura, when it's really not true. We want to help her, but Saber doesn't want to be helped."

"Or you don't know how to help her," Archer said with a shake of his head.

Shirou felt his shoulders droop as he nodded in agreement. He sighed and said, "And there's that too."

"Well, I'm obviously still an idiot for doing this," Archer said with a smile that was heavily laced with his normal sarcastic irony.

Shirou swallowed and said, "Let me help you then."

"I don't think you can," Archer said as something unreadable passed in his steel gray eyes.

Shirou's frown deepened into a scowl and he asked, "What do you mean?"

"Your path has diverged too far from her's, Emiya Shirou," Archer said.

Shirou glared and said, "You know that cryptic bullshit is really annoying."

"Yeah, I know. It sort of happens when you've already been there and done that. Well, she could use a friend," Archer said as he turned to leave.

Shirou stood there glaring at the familiar silhouette once again. He gripped his own hands into fists and said, "I can't keep up with you anymore. I won't keep up with you anymore."

"Good, just stay by Sakura's side and both of you will be fine," Archer said before he leapt into the air and into the night. Shirou stood there quietly gnashing his teeth at the other man before taking a deep breath. He knew all too well he couldn't save everyone and so did Archer, but there was a question ringing loudly through his mind.

_What if Saber doesn't want to be saved?_

Saber scowled at the fare before her that she had to use her own money to buy because both Shirou and Sakura had not had a chance to pack a proper lunch for anyone today. The hamburger bun looked quite soggy and the cheese was wilting like a flower that had been without water far too long. French Fries had a greenish cast to them from being cut from unripe potatoes and even the soda looked pale in its glass. She scowled as she reached for salt, pepper, and Catsup to salvage the pathetic meal.

"You look like you're going to stab that burger for being offensive," Hitomi chuckled.

Saber frowned as she looked up at her friend standing beside her table, holding her corkboard against her chest. She sighed and said, "The quality of the fare here leaves much to be desired."

"Come on, you know the reason why most guys come here is the eyecandy," Hitomi said with a grin.

Saber snorted and said, "The attractiveness of a server does not excuse food's poor quality."

"That's one thing I'm not going to miss," Hitomi said, her pale blue eyes dancing.

Saber smiled and asked, "Did you manage to land that new avenue of employment?"

"Yes. I just put in my two weeks today. Old Man Hirano nearly threw up when he found out I was leaving. Guess it's up to you now Saber-chan," Hitomi said with a grin.

Saber felt an odd tightness in her chest and said, "Well, I wish you the best. You seemed ill suited to this place."

"So do you, Saber-chan. Hey, I could get you an application. You could get an entry level office job," Hitomi said with a smile.

Saber felt heat fill her cheeks as she said, "I must admit that I do not have the skills to do such a thing."

"Well, I'm sure they'll teach you how to use a computer and stuff," Hitomi said with a smile.

Saber shook her head and said, "I am afraid my skill set is ill suited for most forms of employment."

A frown washed over Hitomi's round features as her eyes narrowed thoughtfully. She said, "Don't sell yourself short, Saber-chan."

Saber forced a smile on her face and said, "It is truly not a bother. I will miss your company."

"Hey, just because we're not working together doesn't mean we can't hang out," Hitomi said as she placed her hand on Saber's shoulder.

Saber bit her lip and nodded. _I doubt that would be wise, Hitomi, _but she did not say the words. Instead she forced her smile to widen and said, "That is quite true. So, what position did you acquire?"

"Lab Assistant. Sure, it makes less than I what I do in tips here, but its stable and there's no slow season," the other woman said with a grin, "And I get to do work that actually has a vague inkling to what I really want to do."

Saber smiled and said, "Good. I am sure you will do great things, Hitomi."

"Well, I should let you eat your food, it's even worse cold," Hitomi said, "And I'd better do some work. I'm not out of here yet." With a wink, smile and a wave, the other girl was gone, leaving Saber with her less than pleasing food.

She quickly ate and returned to the floor after her break. As always the work became a blur of faces, voices and servitude. She shut her mind off, glad of the clatter as always. The rest of her shift went smoothly, her tips were as generous as always even though most of the patrons asked her repeatedly to say their names over and over again with a dreamy look on their faces. She had no idea why her voice was so pleasing to them, but it was not her place to deny them something so simple.

She dressed back into her street clothing with her uniform secured to go home, rest and start the routine all over again.


	10. Chapter 9: The King Is Not Dead

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any of the Type-Moon characters or properties expressed in the work of fiction below. They belong to Type-Moon and their creator, Kinko Nasu.

_**That Ever Illusive Utopia**_

**By: Elf**

**Chapter Nine**

**The King is Not Dead**

Archer was currently underneath a nice piece of American engineering, and even though he wasn't a fan of the Chrysler brand he had to admit the Charger had its charm. Tools were used with almost supernatural efficiency as nuts and bolts were tightened and adjusted. Grease was currently staining his flushed cheeks as he felt more sweat trickle down his skin despite the recent adjustments he had made himself in the garage's air conditioner. Then again it was quite a lot of hard work to do the sort of modifications that were all but begged from him.

"How is it going, Archer?"

Archer took a towel and wiped a copious amount of grease from his hands before pushing himself from out from under the car. Standing there was one of the few Japanese people who was close to Archer in height. Kimura Seto was dressed in his immaculate pressed blue suit despite the scorching heat outside. "You spoil your younger brother, Seto," Archer said as he sat up as he looked up at the younger man.

Seto smirked before lifting one hand to adjust his glasses, his blue eyes glinting as they always did when Seto's younger brother was mentioned. "Isn't that the job of an _onii-chan_? To recklessly spoil their younger sibling," Seto replied with a smile as his eyes swept over the boxy body of the muscle car.

Archer felt his jaw twitch at the other man's words and looked away. He said, "Something like that."

"I didn't mean to touch a nerve. You're a bit of a man of mystery to us after all," Seto said as he knelt down closer to Archer's level with a lopsided smirk and not touching the oil stained concrete underneath him.

Archer stood up and said, "It's a hobby. Now did you come to talk about Katsu's new car or did Raiga-dono send you with something else."

"Fujimura-dono feels that someone is eyeing his interests in Fuyuki and perhaps in all of Japan itself," Seto said with a frown.

Archer twisted the towel in his hand and asked, "Eyeing how, Seto?"

"Some of our younger, more impressionable members have been drawn away with seemingly more lucrative prospects, and we have no idea what they are," Seto said with a shake of his head.

Archer looked at the Charger and said, "So this is why you're spoiling your brother then, Seto? I thought you didn't want Katsu do have anything to do with this business."

"I don't, and he doesn't," the other man said in a rather sharp voice as he stood to his feet as well.

Seto might have been a technological genius and a hacker without peer in Fuyuki, but Archer also knew that the man often sparred with Fuji-nee and was a second dan in both _aikido_ and _kendo_. He was also shrewd and had the sort of coldness to him at times that Rin had fought to keep as a front, but it came naturally to the hacker. Seto adjusted his glasses and said, "I don't want to remind you that neither Fujimura-dono or yourself would like a conflict that happened over a decade ago or the tragedy that struck a little over a year ago before you appeared to repeat themselves."

"It's my job to keep the city clean, and I answer to a higher master than Raiga-dono and he's fully aware of that," Archer replied with a smirk.

Seto snorted and said, "Yes, even though I'd doubt your tastes would run that way."

"So, how's Hideki then?" Archer replied with raised eyebrows.

A faint flush crossed Seto's high cheekbones as he replied, "At least Hideki was of legal age when we met."

"So was Rin, but I don't need to dignify or defend my relationship to her to some geek who sits behind a computer eight hours a day," Archer replied with a shrug.

Seto's smile was all but arctic as he said, "And what about young Ryuudou? You two did seem rather close."

"I'd break his heart," Archer said with a smirk, "And he's not my type anyway. So are you going to give me something more useful than, 'Watch your back'? Because I have other work I need to do that's more important than helping an older brother indulge his sibling."

With that he started to go back under the car again when Seto said, "At least I have a sibling to indulge."

Archer gritted his teeth and wouldn't give the other man the satisfaction of shooting another insult. Even after all of this time Ilya was like some giant ache in his chest. He closed his eyes and when he did all he saw was the snow fairy dressed in white smiling sadly at him with tears in her eyes like so many diamonds.

_"Maybe you can save the one person you failed."_

_ Saber._

He continued to work, determined to finish the tune-up before lunch. Minutes slipped into hours and when Archer finally emerged a greased slick mess the sound of motorcycles filled the garage. Young laughter rang out as the three motorcycles' riders shut off their engines and dismounted. Helmets were pulled off and sat on top of seats of various racing bikes as a young punk with dyed red hair elbowed one of his comrades. "You're going to lose to Rider again, Daichi," he said with a grin.

Daichi grinned and said, "Part of the fun with racing with Rider is to _watch_ Rider. Damn, that ass is fine, Taro."

Taro waved at Archer and said, "Hey, you know Rider pretty well, right? What does she look for in a man?"

"Actually, Rider prefers women," Archer said with a grin.

Daichi's face fell and Taro laughed as he pounded his friend on the back. "Sorry Dai-chan, Rider's not for riding stick," Taro said with a grin.

The third and previously silent biker shook his head and said in a soft voice, "You two really need to grow up."

"Oh, come on, like you're at Glass Slipper every day since that new girl started working there, Ryo," Taro said with a smirk.

Ryo replied, "So?"

"Never had an idea that you liked foreigners like that, Ryo," Daichi said with a grin.

Ryo flushed and said, "Saber's moe. Incrediblely moe . . . So polite and that accent . . ." He sighed, his eyes closing in relish.

Archer stared before mentally shaking himself and said, "Saber's an odd name."

"Well, she's from Wales or something," Taro said with a shrug, "You know foreigners are weird, Archer-san."

* * *

><p>Saber's shoulders were aching and her feet were throbbing, but she still had two hours to go before her voluntary ten hour shift was finished. With Hitomi working her last day yesterday and two of the girls calling in sick, both Asuka and the manager were all but on their knees begging her to work extra. When the manager offered Saber both her production pay that was not the docked wages that the waitresses were supposed to make up in tips as well as her tips she quickly accepted the terms.<p>

Eight hours later she regretted her decision.

She grimaced as she rolled her stiff shoulders and her lower back was aching from the slight heels she was to wear with her uniform. Sweat was making the heavy fabric stick unpleasantly to her skin, and the itching it caused made her shoulders twitch ever so slightly. She took a deep breath when the bell above the door chimed, signaling either someone leaving or entering. Taking it was her turn for a table, she made her way to see where the newcomer would sit.

Her breath caught as ice formed in her veins at the all too familiar head of golden hair and crimson eyes that met hers and narrowed. He was exactly as she remembered him, fairly tall, broad shoulders, clean limbs, and oozing arrogance and power from every pore. Except instead of garishly gold armor, he wore and black business suit with a red silk tie that looked as natural on him as the armor did. Perhaps even more so.

_It cannot be_, Saber thought as she made her way over to the doppelganger of the Archer of the Fourth War. Her palms were sweating against her tray as the golden haired man dropped lazily into the chair with all the grace of a cat. His scowl deepened as his eyes traveled down Saber's body before to her face again. Heat filled her cheeks as she swallowed and said, "Good Evening, welcome to the Glass Slipper good sir. My name's Saber and it will be a pleasure to wait on you tonight."

"How many people have you waited on today, Saber?" was the reply, that arrogant drawl pounding nails into Saber's ears.

She narrowed her eyes and replied, "That is none of your business. I will serve you because it is my duty to do so, but do not expect anything else of me when you leave these doors."

"I don't like others using my property," he replied as his eyes narrowed even more, the animosity thick upon the air.

Saber tilted her head up and said, "I am no one's 'property'."

"I think I made my claim rather clear a decade ago. I have waited patiently, even despaired when I thought you had escaped me, but I will not wait anymore to claim what is mine," the King of Heroes said in a whisper.

Saber forced a smile on her face as she felt some of the eyes of the patrons and other maids focus on them. She asked, "What would be your pleasure, Sir? I would recommend the vanilla latté blended with ice and the Mango Bubble Tea is rather delicious as well." She laid a menu in front of Gilgamesh before taking a step back from him.

Gilgamesh lifted up the menu with a scowl before flipping through it, and glaring at Saber for the briefest of seconds before a jovial smile formed across his features. With a quick flick of the wrist, the menu went skidding to a stop in the center of the table as Gilgamesh continued to smile. He answered, "This fare seems rather insulting to someone much as myself, and it is sad to see you degrading yourself to this level, Saber. However, I will take this Mango Bubble Tea that you highly recommend."

Saber felt her teeth grind together as she bowed to the arrogant man and said, "It would be my pleasure." Then she moved as quickly away from Gilgamesh's table as possible. Her heart was pounding like a drum, threatening to burst out of her chest. The tray was shaking in her hands like a stray leaf as she put in her "patron's" order.

Asuka was there and asked, "Are you okay?"

"I am well," Saber said through her clinched teeth.

Asuka looked at the table and gave a low whistle. "You know who that is?" Her voice was higher than normal and her eyes bright.

_A man who almost killed me and then proposed to me? A megalomaniac? The King of Heroes, Gilgamesh himself. Oh yes, Asuka. I know who he is, _she thought, but did not utter a word. Instead she shook her head and answered, "A foreigner, his Japanese was hideously accented, even more so than mine."

Asuka blinked and stared at Saber as if another head had erupted from her shoulders. Asuka said, "That's Gil King, the CEO of Golden Rule! You know, currently the fastest growing company like ever!"

"I did not know that," Saber said as ice crept over her, filling and steadying her hands. _That does not bode well, _she thought, _But it is not my responsibility to stop him. I am not a King. I have no kingdom. I am a young woman working to make ends meet and help the people kind enough to give me aid._

Asuka nodded and said, "Damn, I wish it would have been my turn to take him."

_No you do not, _Saber thought. Instead she said, "I will not have trouble handling him. I treat all of my patrons the same. I do not give special treatment unless the manager is paid for such things."

"Man, I wish I had that fortitude," Asuka said with a giggle, "I'd be on my knees in a second."

Saber took the Mango Bubble Tea that appeared in the window and said, "And that would just disgust him."

* * *

><p>Saber was glad to be in her street clothing again as she began her walk home from the Glass Slipper to Shirou and Sakura's home. Night had already fallen, coating Fuyuki in its wake. She knew better to tarry on the streets at night, and with the appearance of Gilgamesh her composure was rattled. There would have been no way for him to survive so long without a Master, no way at all. Not to mention Ilya and Sakura had closed down the Grail for good, and unless another Grail appeared out of nowhere the Servant system was broken save for Sakura still supporting Rider.<p>

She hurried her steps, looking over her shoulder to make sure she wasn't being followed. She did not want to lead Gilgamesh to Shirou and Sakura. The pair did not deserve that sort of torment, but her mind boggled at the fact that it had indeed been that Archer. Brash, arrogant, and with the power to put force behind his words, Gilgamesh had been a nightmare during the Fourth War despite Iri and Kiritsugu being a proper Master. Well, proper in the fact he could support her with plenty of prana, even though his methods were deplorable to Saber.

Saber hit the button for the crosswalk and was all but rocking back and forth on her feet for it to change. Right as the light changed an all too familiar form matched her step. Ice slid down her spine again as Gilgamesh's hand closed around her forearm. His crimson eyes bore into her and he said, "What do you think you are doing?"

She jerked her arm away from him and he smirked. He leaned forward and his breath was hot against her ear and neck. "This behavior isn't becoming you Saber. I think it would be in your interests to follow me," he said in a low voice.

She gritted her teeth and asked, "What do you want?"

"For you to come with me somewhere more private so we can talk," he said as he straightened to his full height.

Saber looked across the street and replied, "I would rather not."

"And endanger those people you're living with? The misbegotten attempt for a grail and her impotent magus of a lover would not be able to lift a finger towards me before I would have them on the ground and dead," Gilgamesh said with a smile.

She met his eyes and said, "You wouldn't. Sakura still has her Servant."

"That whore? I would give her a better death than she deserves," Gilgamesh said as he folded his arms across his chest.

Saber bit her lip, wondering if she should mention Archer. _No. I cannot, I am not leaving Sakura and Shirou without his protection, _Saber thought. Even though it seemed that Shirou and Archer tolerated very little of each other, Saber had a feeling that Archer would strive to keep her former Masters alive simply for Rin's sake.

Saber bit her lip and felt her shoulders slump in surrender. Bile rose in her throat as she asked, "Where would you like to go?"

"Come on, Saber," he said, simply ignoring her question as he snapped his fingers and started walking. She was quiet as she followed him with her fists clinched at her side. Curses filled her mind about how she was utterly defenseless as he had a whole armory to call upon whenever he wanted. The two of them walked silently to an area that seemed vaguely familiar to Saber. She frowned at the park where their last battle had taken place and the emptiness of the lot around her.

Once they were there, Gilgamesh turned to face her and white teeth were bared in a silent snarl towards her. Saber swallowed and asked, "What is it?"

"You are _mine_. I am _not _allowing you to service random mongrels when you should be submitting to me," he said in a low, harsh voice.

Saber said, "I am no more interested in submitting to you as I was ten years ago."

Gilgamesh smirked and said, "Then take your sword and come at me."

"No," she said, not wanting him to know that she abandoned her sword.

He threw back his head and laughter shook the sky as he raised his hand and snapped his fingers. Saber froze as a red haze appeared behind him that he reached his hand into, causing it to ripple like crimson water. He pulled out a gleaming, silver blade that he suddenly swung at her.

The movement was telegraphed and poorly executed. Even unarmed, Saber had no problem dodging the blow. He took a step forward and thrust out. Again, she moved, spinning her body away from the blade. "Enough games," he said with a growl as the red mist behind him filled with swords.

Her eyes widened as there was a click before the swords shot at her. With a cry she forced prana through her muscles to weave and roll through the barrage. Metal clanged with earth and scraped with more metal, sending sparks as tiny puffs of air were sliding across her skin and clothing. More and more swords came down at her, but at a rate she could somewhat dodge.

Behind her she felt a presence loom and she spun around to see Gilgamesh grab her right as she dodged some unknown sword. His face was crimson and his eyes all but glowing as his hands roughly gripped her shoulders. "Pathetic," he said with a sneer before shoving her back.

Saber cried out as she was propelled past the swords in the ground and hitting grass herself. Air was forced out of her lungs when she landed hard and her body convulsed at the impact. She coughed as she scrambled to take to her feet, but Gilgamesh was looming before her. He pressed her back to the ground and she gasped, trying to take air into her burning lungs.

"Pathetic, like some common whore, selling yourself when you should be mine. Since you've become quite the whore, I think I shall use you and take my leave. After all, you've become below my notice now," he said with narrowed eyes as he held her against the ground with one hand and the other lifting her shirt.

Saber froze, every muscle locking in place as that unfamiliar ice washed over her again and again. Her heart pounded as she felt herself shaking ever so slightly as his fingers brushed against bared skin. _No, _her mind shouted at her, _no! _"No," she said, her voice a rasp as the voice in her head spilled from her lips, "No!"

Her small hands began to push at him, before she formed a fist and pounded it against his back. He laughed and said, "Why not draw your sword and run me through, Saber? Do you not have it anymore? What a pathetic king you are."

Tears burned her eyes as his legs lodged between hers, forcing them apart. Saber tried to push herself away, but he was larger than her and more powerful. Memories she had shared with Sakura flashed through her mind, preparing her for what was coming next.

Except one moment Gilgamesh was on top of her and the next he was beside her in a crouch and a smoking sword was still glowing red hot mere centimeters from Saber's feet. Saber pushed herself up as Gilgamesh shouted, "Who dares!"

Saber stared as a familiar, white haired man emerged from the treeline with his steel colored eyes narrowed at Gilgamesh. That infuriating smirk crossed his lips as his black falchion pointed at the King of Heroes. Archer said in his normal sardonic voice, "An idiot."

_**Author's Note: **_Thanks for following this story, and if you like this story, maybe you should see my original fiction!

If you're tired of vampires that sparkle, like 80's action movies, _Buffy the Vampire Slayer _and _The Dresden Files _then I have the story for you!

Please see my JukePop serial, _The Law Unto Herself Chronicles _at _**www. jukepopserials home/read/533 **_(you'll have to copy and paste the link in your browser then delete the spaces between the "www." "jukepopserials" and add . and com/ after jukepopserials)!

Also, if I can get 150 Votes by the time Chapter Four of the serial goes live, I'll post one update once a week for three weeks!

So please, help an inspiring author out.


End file.
